Ouran High School Hostess Club
by ButterflyMiko
Summary: Kiana has started a rival club, a Hostess Club, including Kuri Ootori and Reiko Suoh in her line-up. Things heat up with the Host Club comes to visit. Could this be the beginnings of love?
1. Rivals

Kiana Ofuda, third year at Ouran Academy, opened the door to the host club. She was not wearing her school uniform, no, she was dressed in a angel costume complete with a halo. She was carrying a tray of cupcakes.

"Welcome!" Host Club said.

Kiana just rolled her eyes. "I'm not here as a guest. I'm here as a rival."

"R-Rival?" Tamaki said. "What does that mean?"

"The Ouran High School Hostess Club." Kiana said.

Tamaki just about passed out.

"Yes the Hostess club that your sister Reiko joined this semester. I would have thought you'd be more informed about her doings. She is your sister. My sister Kuri is a member too." Kyoya said, pushing up his glasses.

"Every boy in the school's gonna be there!" Kiana grinned, leaving the cupcakes and making a quick exit before the fireworks could commence.

Xxx

So in summation, Tamaki and the Host Club decided to attend. Tamaki opened the door hesitantly and there before him was the strangest variety of characters he had ever seen. All of them were wearing animal ears!

At the first table was a girl with short dark hair, chocolate brown eyes and creamy pale skin. This was Ava.

"Listen, I want to tell you that I understand your feelings completely. You feel lonely as an only child and you just want someone to reach out." She was completely serious and her voice spoke as if she was in genuine pain. The girl reached out and touched the hand of the boy.

"That's Ava Nicolae, First Year," Kiana said. "She's the counselor of the group. She has a genuine ability to reach out and touch the needs of sensitive guys. It is lacking in your club, sensitivity."

Kaoru sat at her table. Light Bulb.

Kiana grinned, twisting the knife. "Looks like you lost a member."

"So I made the perfect dive, on point, and splash!" Mana said. She had long and dark hair and bright blue eyes, but she was toned as swimming athlete. Toned in all the right places.

"Mana Ningyo, Second Year. Placed first in her division in all the swimming categories." Kiana grinned.

Mori sat down. Light Bulb.

"Ha ha! Cmon guys don't pick on a girl just cuz she can change a tire!" Billie laughed. She wast blonde, but her hair was cut like a boy's though she still wore make-up accentuating her bright grey eyes. "I bet you guys have done girly things! Just like I do boy things! Don't tease me!"

"Billie Jenkins, Second Year American transfer student, and tomboy." Kiana said.

Hikaru sat down and joined in the conversation.

"Simple, just carry the one and divide the remainder. Say, did you guys get ahold of that new game by EA? I don't know about you but I love to blow up monsters." Reiko said.

"Reiko Suoh, Third Year. Top of her class, genius level intellect. Video game expert. In other words, Nerd." Kiana said.

"Hey lay off!" Reiko started but suddenly Kyoya was sitting next to her. Light Bulb.

"I can't tell you your future. But I hope you have many blessings in the new school year. If you really want a fire reading I suppose I can give you one but...I can't guarantee anything. Wouldn't you rather hear me read some of my poems?" Kuri said.

"Kurisuta Ootori. Miko. She's actually a Shinto Priestess by profession." Kiana said.

Tamaki couldn't help himself. She was absolutely beautiful. He sat down. Light bulb

"Oh, you poor thing." Kiana laughed. "She despises men."

Tamaki looked crushed.

"Then again...that makes it more fun." Kiana said.

Tamaki had some hope.

"Now, Honey, looks like its just you and me. Let's have some cake!" Kiana grinned.

Honey sat down. Light bulb.

The lights came together to spell RIVAL.


	2. Ava and Kaoru

Ava sat at her table and Kaoru had just sat down.

"Hello, my name is Ava Nicolae." Ava said. "My dream is to get my degree in psychology."

"That's a wonderful dream. I'm Kaoru Hitachiin." Kaoru said.

"Kaoru. So you are the younger twin, right?" Ava said. "It must be difficult. I have siblings myself and I am often pressured to be like them. I suppose it would make it that much worse if we looked alike. Having your own identity must be hard."

"My own...identity..." Kaoru said.

"But it doesn't matter to me." Ava said. "After all it was definitely you who caught my eye, and not Hikaru. You have kind eyes, Kaoru."

Kaoru blushed. "You really think so?"

"Well sure. You may be mischievous but I don't think you'd ever really hurt anyone." Ava said. "You seem gentle and sweet under all that and that's what I like about you. I like kind men."

"You really feel that way?" Kaoru said.

"Maybe some of the other club members pretend, but everything I say is genuine. I don't like to lie." Ava said.

Kaoru looked at Ava. She had such an honest and trusting face. Everything about her was warm and inviting.

Kaoru leaned forward and grasped her hands.

Ava seemed surprised; one of the club rules was no physical contact. But she wasn't stopping him.

"Ava. Let's go out on a date."


	3. Mana and Mori

Come on you can talk to me, Mori!" Mana said, a frustrated look on her face. "Why'd you sit down anyway?"

"You look like you appreciate a good workout." Mori said.

"Oh so you like going to the gym? I like the one the school has. Obviously I like swimming, but stair stepping is fun too. What machine is your favorite?" Mana said.

"I like lifting weights." Mori said.

"You're old fashioned." Mana giggled. "That's ok. Maybe we should go together? And then afterward we could go for a jog in the park. You know the test to see if you're a top quality jogger?"

"What is it?" Mori said.

"If you can carry on a conversation while you jog." Mana said.

"Challenge accepted." Mori smiled. "But aren't I supposed to ask you out?"

"Don't be so old fashioned, Takashi." Mana said. "You'll be the first one to kiss me, how about that?"

Mori blushed. She had said his name. He couldn't be happier. He realized he was moving into a world where he could have something he really wanted, without even Honey at his side, instead with this girl, his Mana. But looking into those swimming pool blue eyes, he didn't care that things were changing. He welcomed it.

This was a world worth stepping into


	4. Billie and Hikaru

So you're gonna tell me you like sports, cars, and you wear platform boots, but you aren't a lesbian?" Hikaru said skeptically.

"I get this a lot. It's the haircut right?" Billie laughed. "The name doesn't help either. My parent's didn't think that one through!"

"So why cut your hair like that when you've already got so much riding against you?" Hikaru said.

Billie shrugged. "Guys like girls who seem like they might be tomboys or bisexual, or something like that. The whole forbidden thing. Plus men love seeing women kiss each other. Sometimes I kiss a girl around here just to get a rise outta the guys."

"Sounds like you're copying the brotherly love package we offer." Hikaru said in mock offense.

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." Billie countered, straight faced. "Besides, I do it alone. I'm the only tomboy, and I don't always swing it all the way to lesbian or bisexual. I'm straight by the way."

"Prove it." Hikaru said.

"You're gonna wish you hadn't said that." Billie laughed and leaned in very close, backing him up against the couch. "Well...what was it you expected...a kiss?"

Hikaru smirked. "Like you can stop me."

He kissed her.


	5. Reiko and Kyoya

So why does a guy like you choose my table?" Reiko said.

"My company designs that video game, how do you like it?" Kyoya said, ignoring the question.

"It's got excellent graphics, and nothing beats killing monsters." Reiko said.

"You like the fantasy variety?" Kyoya said. "How would you like to play a game that hasn't come out yet?"

"Which game?" Reiko said skeptically.

"DragWar. It's a new deluxe game featuring dragons and magic, with a high influence from Japanese mythology." Kyoya said.

"Interesting. I've never heard of it, but I do like Japanese mythology. Does it have many yokai?" Reiko said.

"Kitsune are highly featured, the main character is a Kitsune." Kyoya said. "You haven't heard of it because it hasn't even been advertised. Would you like to have a copy. Strictly secret of course, in fact you'll have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

Reiko signed it. "You did this for me!"

"I was hoping for a date in return." Kyoya said.

"Well I think that can be arranged." Reiko replied.


	6. Kuri and Tamaki

What is it that you want?" Kuri said, eyes never leaving the fire.

"I-I wanted to sit at your table." Tamaki said, not sure why his smooth demeanor was failing him.

"You plan to use your Host skills on me?" Kuri said sharply.

"No! No of course not!" Tamaki said. "I was...um...interested in your miko culture."

He wasn't lying, miko culture deeply intrigued him.

"Who is the kami you are praying to?" Tamaki asked.

"This is Chaos." Kuri replied. "She is the goddess of the yokai."

"Why do you pray to a goddess of Chaos?" Tamaki asked.

"Darkness does not always equate to evil, Light does not always equate to good." Kuri replied.

"So don't judge based on appearances." Tamaki said. "Shouldn't you practice what you preach?"

Kuri turned in shock, a smile on her face. "Yes I suppose I should. You've earned a date, Tamaki."


	7. Pairings

So that concludes our day." Kiana said. "Thank you guys so much for enjoying our club. We hope to work together in the future.

"We will work together in the future." Kuri said simply, earning a smile from Tamaki.

"You gorgeous ladies should be proud of such a well done club." Tamaki said. "And don't you worry we will always be here for you, your best friends at the host club."

The boys bowed out quickly, then Kiana turned to the girls.

"Excellent job my sisters." Kiana said. "We have surpassed insurmountable odds and swayed the Host Club to our favor. They are eating out of the palms of our hands!"

"This is what you wanted." Ava and Billie said.

"So why do you have that look on your face?" Mana said.

"Like maybe..." Reiko said.

"You want more?" Kuri said.

"I want everything they have. I want it all. And above everything, I WANT PAIRINGS!" Kiana yelled


	8. Teacups

You look upset Kaoru." Hikaru said. "Is it because of Ava's new regular."

"Toru Suzushima." Kaoru said. "He shouldn't even be seeing her. He's engaged."

"To who?" Hikaru asked.

"Kanako Kasugazaki." Kyoya said, gesturing to Tamaki's table.

"Don't forget to attend our Christmas dance everyone. The Hostess Club will be joining us for an evening of festivities." Tamaki announced and they closed up the club, letting the Hostess Club in.

"So Ava. What do you think about helping your friend Toru with his love troubles?" Hikaru grinned.

"I-I don't think.." Ava said.

"Of course you want to." Kaoru said. "All you have to do is confess your love."

"Wearing this." Hikaru held up a ballroom gown.

The clubs worked hard and the night of the Christmas dance came.

Kaoru and Hikaru pushed Ava into the room where Toru was. Kaoru looked angry.

"I like you, Toru. I've always liked you. The way you speak, act, and make me laugh are just so—" Ava met Kaoru's eyes in the doorway, making it clear she was talking about him. "I just want you to know how I feel."

Kaoru's eyes widened, and he and Hikaru quickly stumbled off.

Kanako stood in the doorway, and ran away in tears.

"I'm sorry Ava, but I like someone else. Someone I intend to marry." Toru said. "Kanako!"

The two met in the courtyard.

"I proclaim Kanako and Toru as King and Queen of the dance!" Kiana shouted. "Now lets see a kiss!"

The two smiled and kissed as the fireworks went off.


	9. Doctor

Kuri sat in the observation room ready for her physical exam.

She was the last in her club to get one, and doctors always made her nervous.

Kuri sat nervously on the bed when a strange doctor with a tag that said "Dr Yabu" entered.

"Please don't scream! I'm looking for my daughter!" He put a hand over her mouth and tried to talk but Kuri jerked back and knocked him to the floor.

"What happened here?!" Tamaki barged in with the Host Club on his heels.

"It's fine, Tamaki." Kuri said. "This doctor just scared me. I don't think he's supposed to be here."

"No he is not with my hospital." Kyoya confirmed.

"So who is he?" The twins said.

"My wife and daughter left me because of my financial problems and I just came here to see my daughter!" Yabu said.

"Could you have meant Ourin Public High School?" Reiko grinned.

"Isn't that where I am?" Yabu said.

A collective head shake from the Host and Hostess clubs.

"Hikaru, Kaoru." Tamaki said. "Make this man a map to Ourin, please."

Kuri looked up in surprise. Was Tamaki always this kind?


	10. Manager

Mana was playing a dating sim.

"Oh Mori..." Mana said, then blushed.

She finished the game and laid back on the bed.

"How can I make the Host Clubs better for my Mori?" Mana laid back.

She picked up her manga, and after a while of reading, had the answer.

"I'll be the manager!" Mana said.

Xxx

A week later a film crew was on site doing a movie on their characters.

Hikaru and Kaoru were hard at work pulling off athletic characters.

Ava was the shy but demure ice skating champion who pined after Kaoru.

Billie was the tomboy who was secretly a romantic, hiding romance novels and hoping her beloved Hikaru never discovered her true nature.

Tamaki, as the lonely prince, spurned the advances of Kuri, the seductive miko, as he believed he could never be loved.

"One injured heart intersects with another. They pass each other, and wound each other. What are the hearts of these young people made of?" Mana said.

"You can't run away any longer. You're going to learn what happens when you go against me." Honey said.

"Don't, Mitsukuni. Every time you hurt others, you're the one who ends up being hurt." Mori said.

"Don't try to give me any advice, Takashi. You want me to put you over my knee again?" Honey said.

"It isn't as if we can go against the great Mana, our boss and Queen." Mori looked like he wanted to roll his eyes.

"Will it be the light of salvation that ultimately awaits them? Or something else?" Mana said.

"I hate it when people try to rise above their own station in life." Honey said. "Kiana-chan, I'm sorry! I really can't do this!"

"Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! You there! Stick to the script!" Mana said.

"But I..." Honey said.

"Cameraman, hold up for now!" Mana said.

"Yes, boss." Cameraman said.

"Make the rain more heartrending!" Mana said.

"Why have we suddenly gone from talking about changing our characters into a movie shoot? And I have to say, it's an overblown film crew, huh?" Billie said.

"Apparently, she rushed them here from Hollywood." Hikaru said.

"Haven't you ever seen them? That man is the director of "Twilight," the vampire movie that was the number-one box-office hit across America last year." Kaoru said.

"Damn her..." Ava said.

"Kuri...How was my performance?" Tamaki said.

"It was awesome, in one sense of the word, at least insofar as how you're able to be so enraptured by this." Kuri said.

"I've discovered a whole new facet of myself. It's not that bad an idea to go down this road for a little while." Tamaki said.

"Are you sure? Brother, I think you're fine just the way you are." Reiko said.

"R-Really? Hmm, if you say so..." Tamaki said.

"If this guy gets a darker side, he'll just be that much more trouble." Kuri thought.

"Reiko-chan! You're on!" Mana said.

"Okay!" Reiko said.

"Over here! I've just asked these two gentlemen to make a special appearance." Mana said.

"Appearance? What are you talking about?" Reiko said.

"We're going to need some villains for the big climax, after all." Mana said. "The jumble of club members unite, to battle some true bad guy characters. According to my notes, while these two may be from a wealthy family, they are actually sons of members of the Japanese Mafia. These truly are ideal parts for you."

"What's with this girl?" Guy said.

"Whatever my dad may be, it's got nothing to do with me!" Guy said.

"Hold on, Mana-chan..." Reiko said.

"Okay, just stand by over here." Mana said.

"Just a minute here..." Guy said.

"You think you can push us around however you want to? Come off it!" Guy said.

"Look out!" Reiko said.

"Rei-chan! Are you okay?!" Mana said.

"Those boys are right. Mana-chan, if you judge people by stereotypes, you won't ever be able to see what's really important." Reiko said.

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean." Mana said.

"Sister! What happened?!" Tamaki said. "Which one of you started this?"

"W-Wait, Suou! She's the one who started giving us a hard time!" Guy said.

"It's true, Brother. These boys aren't at fault." Reiko said.

"Run away!" They said.

"Reiko... does it hurt?" Tamaki said.

"Yes...It's my contact." Reiko said.

"Huh? Your con... tact?" Tamaki said.

"Yeah. It slipped out." Reiko said.

"Oh, so that's it!" Tamaki said.

"Cameraman, did you catch that?!" Mana said.

"Yes, boss!" Cameraman said.

"Except for the contact falling out, that was the ideal last scene! All it needs now is for me to provide some moving narration." Mana said.

Kyoya broke the camera.

"No! My camera!" Cameraman said.

Reiko grinned.

"Kyoya!" Mana said.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot allow there to be any record of a club member engaging in violence. I am extremely displeased at the way you're acting like such a pest." Kyoya said.

"He's right, Mana." Mori said. "What your doing...it's wrong."

"Why? Mori, you're supposed to tell me not to worry about it, and then gently pat me on the head! Why would someone as kind and affectionate as you..." Mana said.

"That's not who Mori is." Tamaki said.

"It doesn't matter, does it? Even if Mori is a little different from what you expected, Mana, I think that watching people, and slowly, little by little, getting to know them, can be fun, too." Kuri said.

Mana looked up at Mori, who smiled and took her by the hand, and helped her to her feet


	11. Trick

Do you remember when we first started playing this game?" Kaoru said.

"Let's go make a snowman together." Little Billie said.

"Which one are you talking to?" Twins said.

"Both of you, of course." Little Ava said.

"There's nobody named "Both of you" here." Twins said.

"I'm talking to you, Hikaru-chan and Kaoru-chan." Little Billie said.

"Okay then, which one of us is Hikaru, and which one is Kaoru? Can you tell?" Twins said.

Xxx

"Let's play the "Which one is Hikaru-kun?" game!" Twins said.

"Now then, can you tell which one of us is Hikaru?" Twins said.

"Oh, this is hard." Ava said. "They look too much alike."

"There's never been a girl who could really tell us apart before." Kaoru said.

"What a ridiculous game." Billie said.

"Huh? Something you don't like about it?" Hikaru said.

"It's not just that. I can't quite figure out why you two are so popular." Billie said.

"That's telling us." Kaoru said.

"Apparently, Kuri doesn't..." Hikaru said.

"...understand the merits of having twins in the Host Club." Kaoru said.

"Listen here. Just having a couple of good-looking homosexuals earns plenty of high points." Hikaru said.

"And making a show of teetering between that and friendship is also desirable." Kaoru said.

"But in our case, being twins, we get to use this most forbidden of taboos as a weapon." Hikaru said.

"On top of that, there's the scenario of having two people, who have such deep ties to each other, loving you at the same time." Kaoru said.

"It's the ultimate young woman's romance, right?" Hikaru said.

"Er... I...I can't bear any more!" Ava said.

"Hikaru! Kaoru! I let you have control of the club's homepage on the condition that you would take it seriously!" Tamaki said.

"And we are taking it seriously. We were up until dawn last night working on it." Twins said.

"And this is the screen that you made?!" Tamaki said.

"Rei-chan, you look great!" Honey said.

"When?! When did you take nude photos of my sister?!" Tamaki said.

"You're intensely delusional." Hikaru said.

"It's a composite photo, of course." Kaoru said.

"Composite?" Tamaki said.

"We did a good job, didn't we?" Twins said.

"Magnificent skill, if I do say so myself." Hikaru said.

"You idiots! What a wasted use of your skills! Have some shame! But if you are going to do it, composite her with this idol photo collection." Tamaki said.

"That would be silly, sir. It would be quicker..." Kaoru said.

"...to ask her directly to wear that stuff." Hikaru said.

"Y-Yeah, I could ask her. What do you think about this?" Tamaki said.

"Why do you have that?" Kuri said.

"Rei-chan looks fantastic!" Girl said.

"Would you stop compositing pictures of me without my permission? Just what do you take other people to be?" Rei said.

"Isn't that obvious? Toys." Twins said.

"So you see, in order to enjoy an otherwise boring life..." Hikaru said.

"...you need to have some stimulating toys." Kaoru said.

"I am not a toy!" Rei said.

"Toys... Toys... toys...If you like toys, then by all means, come to my club, the Black Magic Club. We've opened a marketplace of the world's black magic curios. We're also always holding mass. If you come now, I'll make sure you get this handsome curse doll, Belzenef, as my present." Nekozawa said.

"Why is he talking through a crack in the door?" Ava said. "For that matter, has there always been a door there?"

"Nekozawa-senpai doesn't like brightly-lit places." Kyoya said.

"You must not have anything to do with that man. If you do, you will definitely become cursed." Tamaki said.

"Do you have any basis for that claim?" Billie said.

"Yes. It was during the tests at the end of last year... Ah, it's terrifying just talking about it." Tamaki said.

Xxx

"Tamaki-kun, good morning." Girl said.

"Good morning." Tamaki said.

That was the day that I accidentally stepped on that cursed doll, Belzenef...The test I took immediately afterward had been enumerated in incomprehensible letters,

as though it had been cursed! Warily, I looked at those around me, but I knew none of them! I had shifted into an alternate dimension!

Xxx

"How scary!" Kuri said.

"Did that really happen?" Rei said.

"That's just because you were so shaken up, you went and took the test for the Greek class." Kyoya said.

"No! It was a curse! What's more, three days later, in the morning, for some reason, my legs had become as heavy as lead!" Tamaki said.

"That's because the day before, you had that marathon, right?" Kyoya said.

"The power of the curse doll, Belzenef, is real. If you engrave the name of a

person that you hate into this doll's back, they are certain to meet with misfortune. This guy really is dark, in more ways than one." Kuri said.

"He says he hates bright lights. I wonder how he'll like this." Twins said.

"You murderers!" Nekozawa went scurrying off.

"Hikaru, Kaoru, how could you?! You don't know the true terror of black magic!" Tamaki said.

"Ah, I'm bored." Hikaru said.

"Isn't there anything fun we can do?" Kaoru said.

"My dignity as president... is being ignored..." Tamaki said.

"Say, Billie, Ava, we have a favor to ask." Hikaru said.

"What is it?" Ava said.

"The next day off we get..." Hikaru said.

"...can we come over to your place?" Kaoru said.

"Why would you?" Billie said.

"Because we're awfully interested in it." Twins said.

"No way." Billie said.

"None at all?" Twins said.

"No way. You'll just make fun of us." Ava said.

"No matter how much we ask?" Twins said.

"No way." Billie said.

"Then, let's do it this way. If you miss in the "Which one is Hikaru-kun game," then as a penalty, we get to come over to your house." Hikaru said.

"Okay, which one of us is Hikaru-kun?" Kaoru said.

"You're Kaoru, and you're Hikaru." Billie said.

"Bzzzt! You got it wrong!" Twins said.

"No I didn't. You do look very similar, but you are different." Billie said.

"Say, Billie-kun, once they cover whether they part their hair on the left or the right, the difference between Hikaru-kun and Kaoru-kun becomes completely indistinguishable. How can you tell them apart?" Ava said.

"Uh, well, let's see...If I had to say... Hikaru's speech and actions are ten percent more ornery than Kaoru's." Billie said. "I'm sorry, Hikaru!"

"Well, I just don't mask anything, and always express myself honestly, so Kaoru is the one who is more spiteful." Hikaru said.

"Don't go spinning this. Hikaru, I'm the one who's always going along, playing your selfish games, right?" Kaoru said.

"I may be the one to suggest them, but you're the one who gets into them, Kaoru." Hikaru said. "If you don't like them, then just stop. What are you, stupid?

"You're too stupid to see it for yourself, Hikaru. Like how, even as you were calling her a toy, you were so quick to make some sort of pass at her." Kaoru said. "Hikaru, you really are in love with Billie, aren't you?"

"Huh?! What?! H-Hey, you've got it all wrong! You really are an idiot, Kaoru!" Hikaru said. "Yeah! There are some things you can and can't say in this world! For one thing, how is it that I would fall for that girl?"

"Fantastic. This is fantastic." Kiana said. "A beautiful, yet poignant four-sided

relationship around Kuri-chan. What's more, two of the figures are twins, bogged down by this development! Mana could eat three bowls of rice over this!"

"You stay out of this, hostess." Hikaru said.

"How mean! What a mean thing to say!" Mana said.

"Enough already!" Hikaru said. "You're always getting into my bed! You're such a pest!"

'That's because you seem so lonely, Hikaru. I had no choice but to sleep next to you, you idiot!" Kaoru said.

"Who are you calling an idiot?! You're doing worse in a number of classes!" Hikaru said.

"Look who's talking! Hikaru, maybe you should study linguistics more!" Kaoru said.

"You grind your teeth too loud!" Hikaru said.

"Who is it that tosses in their sleep and falls out of bed?!" Kaoru said.

"Sex pixie!" Hikaru said.

"Sicko!" Kaoru said.

"Your mama wears too much makeup!" Twins said. "We're through!"

Xxx

"Kuri! Good morning." Hikaru said.

"Hikaru? What's up with your hair? Why is it pink?" Billie said.

"It looks good on me. Isn't it cute? Starting today, the pink one is me. I couldn't bear being mistaken for Kaoru forever." Hikaru said.

"Good morning, Kuri." Kaoru said.

"Kaoru, you went with blue." Billie said.

"Last night, I had the rare chance to gracefully sleep by myself, but I had a bad dream. You see, my hair was dyed pink...of the most garish shade, in this dream I was having." Kaoru said.

Xxx

"The A lunch." Twins said. "On second thought, the B pasta and the D salad! I mean, the F cappellini with the barbarie duck-no, set that aside, and make it a foie gras poele, in perigueux sauce! Stop copying me! I just told you not to copy me, didn't I?!"

"Amazing. They're fighting in harmony." Ava said.

"I thought it was getting noisy in here. Are you two still fighting? You're embarrassing the Host Club." Tamaki said.

"It's the Host Club." Girl said.

"Oh my, the Host Club." Girl said.

"The boys from the Host Club are all together." Girl said.

"Okay, break! You're both to blame for this fight. Hika-chan and Kao-chan, go halfsies on this cake, and make up! Okay? Oh, but I want to eat some, too, so I guess we have to go thirdsies. We can't split the strawberry, so what do we do? Maybe I should just take it." Honey said. "After all, I love strawberries, so that's okay, right? Oh, but then, Hika-chan and Kao-chan, do you like strawberries, too?"

"You're just making the situation worse, so stop." Mori said.

"Oh, Sister! Fancy running into you in the refectory!" Tamaki said.

"I was concerned about those two, and followed them here without thinking. I just have my box lunch, so I wanted to eat it in the classroom." Kuri said.

"A box lunch?" Tamaki said.

"Kuri, here's a spot." Hikaru said.

"Oh, okay." Billie said.

"What do you have in your box lunch?" Hikaru said.

"Yesterday's simmered leftovers, some rolled omelet, and such." Billie said.

"Switch with me. I ordered something different from Kaoru, and ended up with all stuff that I hate." Hikaru said.

"Sure, okay..." Billie said.

"This is awfully lavish. I haven't ever really eaten this sort of thing..." Ava said.

"Delicious, isn't it?" Hikaru said.

"Ava, is that any good? You want some of mine, too? Here. "Aah..."" Kaoru said.

Hikaru took the bite.

"Butt out. Go away." Kaoru said.

"I think I'll eat in the classroom after all." Ava said.

"If this situation continues, we're going to have to stop offering the brotherly love package. Our designee rate is definitely down. Oh, Kuri, this isn't something that you should feel responsible for Even though your thoughtless comment was the cause of this fight." Kyoya said.

"He's clearly blaming me." Billie said.

"Hika-chan and Kao-chan fighting with each other..." Honey said.

"It's never happened before, huh?" Ava said.

"I've known them since pre-school. We weren't in the same year, so I never talked to them, but it seemed like they always played together." Honey said.

"You're right. I've only known them since middle school, but they really stood aloof. It seemed like except for themselves, they kept everyone at a distance. Their personalities were several times more warped than they are now. Thinking about it that way, maybe this fighting is a turn for the better. It means that their world is starting

to get a little larger, doesn't it? Maybe it's best to leave them alone, under the circumstances." Tamaki said.

"Maybe it is a turn for the better. But then, if this is their first fight, then maybe they need someone to tell them when to call it quits that much more. They probably don't know how to make up with each other, either." Ava said.

"You're right." Billie said.

"After going this long, haven't you gotten over it yet?You brothers are putting us out." Tamaki said.

"We're putting you out?! We're putting you out, you say?! You've got to be kidding!

I'm the one who's put out! I'm the one who's got the same face as Kaoru. I'm sick and tired of being mistaken for you! The truth is, I hate your guts!" Hikaru said.

"You took the words right out of my mouth. Look at this! I bought this from Nekozawa-senpai- Belzenef, the curse doll! I'm writing your name on this thing's back, Hikaru. From here on, you're going to meet with lots of misfortune and sorrow!" Kaoru said.

"Enough already! You don't go bringing something like this into a simple quarrel! You both are to blame for this fight, but you're even more to blame for bothering everyone around you with it! Now say you're sorry! If you don't make up right now, then I'll never let you come over, as long as I live!" Billie said.

"Then, if we do make up, Billie," Hikaru said.

"we can come over to your house, right?" Kaoru said.

"I'm sorry, Kaoru. Even though I was just following our script, I'm not fit to be your brother, to say such awful things to you." Hikaru said.

"Not at all. I'm the one who was terribly worried about what I would do if I hurt you, Hikaru." Kaoru said.

"Kaoru, I'll never let you go!" Hikaru said.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru said.

"Oh, you were faking the fight?!" Ava said.

"Well, we were bored." Twins said.

"T-They got me..." Billie said. "Twins with too much free time...are the devil."

Xxx

"Thank goodness." Ava aid.

"Okay, let's play the "Which one is Hikaru-kun?" game!" Twins said.

"Um, the one with the pink hair is Hikaru-kun." Girl said.

"We have a winner!" Twins said.

"You may have made up, but your hair will still stay that way for a while, huh? Still, I'm glad it's easier to tell now." Ava said.

"No it isn't. Today, the pink one is Kaoru, and the blue one is Hikaru. You've switched your colors, huh?" Billie said.

"Have you noticed, Hikaru? Up until now, there were only two worlds: "us" and "everyone else."" Kaoru said. "But for the first time, a genuine gatecrasher has appeared."


	12. Brat

Oh, Shiro-kun...Everyone else is already assembled. Hurry and come to the classroom." Boy said.

"Sorry, but I'm going to quit the Classical Music Club." Shiro said.

"Huh? Why so suddenly? Your teacher thinks you have a talent for playing the piano. I won't say anything about this, so keep at it. You'll be popular with the girls in the future if you can play the piano." Boy said.

"Doing so would be too roundabout!" Shiro said. "I don't have any time!"

Xxx

"The top floor of the south school building...at the end of the north hallway...The unused music room...This is it. This is the fabled..." Shiro said.

"Welcome." Host Club said.

"Oh, it's just a kid." Hikaru said.

"And a boy, no less." Kaoru said.

"What's wrong, little lost boy? Did you need something from our palace?" Tamaki said.

"Y-You're this place's king? Am I wrong?" Shiro aid.

"What did you just call me?" Tamaki said.

"King." Shiro said.

"Oh, "King"! Yes indeed, I am the King of this Host Club." Tamaki said.

"I'm Takaoji Shiro, Elementary 5th-Year, Class A! I hereby petition the Host Club King

to take me on as an apprentice." Shiro said.

Xxx

"My, Tamaki-kun, you have an apprentice?" Kuri said.

"Yes. He's still in grade school, but I like the look in his eye." Tamaki said.

"Can such a small boy serve as a host?" Kuri said.

"Love has nothing to do with age. No, to tell the truth, even my heart begins to pound, and I always become like a little boy, when you are before me." Tamaki said.

"Ah, Tamaki-kun..." Kuri said.

"Letting him observe them at such a close distance has to make it difficult, doesn't it?" Reiko said.

"He usually insists that he becomes proportionally more beautiful the closer people see him." Kyoya said. "Let's just let them be."

"You bad girl, who showed me the forbidden fruit, you're like a mermaid princess, bringing light to my sea of loneliness." Tamaki said.

"I'm a mermaid princess?" Kuri said.

"If you ask me, you're more like the carp we have in our pond at home. I wouldn't want to offer you any such clumsy flattery." Shiro said.

"Carp?" Kuri said.

"Oh, no, he's just a child, you know. I mean, children are so frank." Tamaki said.

"Frank?" Kuri said.

"S-Still, they may be frank, but I wouldn't say that you look like a carp. And even supposing that you did look like a carp, it's a beautiful carp..." Tamaki said.

"So I'm a carp, after all!" Kuri said.

"No... I didn't mean..." Tamaki said.

"Tamaki-kun, you idiot!" Kuri said.

"Wait, my mermaid princess!" Tamaki said.

"Don't cry, you crybaby." Shiro said.

"Good for you, sir!" Hikaru said. "That's an adorable little apprentice you have there."

"Hikaru... Hikaru, do you wish you had a brother like this?" Kaoru said.

"Silly... I could search the whole world, and not find a better brother than you, Kaoru." Hikaru said.

"Oh, Hikaru..." Kaoru said.

"Forbidden brotherly love!" Ava and Billie said.

"Y-You're homos! And what's worse, you're twins, so that's kinkan youkan!" Shiro said.

"I think what you mean to say is kinshin soukan." Kuri said.

"Shiro-chan! Want to have some cake with me? You know what? We have chocolate and strawberry." Honey said.

"Back off! What grade are you in?! What are you doing, wearing a high school uniform?" Shiro said.

"What's wrong, Mitsukuni?" Mori said.

"No fair! You can't go having older friends like that!" Shiro said.

"What's the matter? Ah, you're surprised at how everyone here is so unusual? I was also unable to get a grasp of the atmosphere around here at first, which considerably threw me for a loop." Kiana said.

"This one seems more like a girl?" Shiro said.

"Huh?" Kiana said.

"Okay, that will do. Why don't you carry the tea for me?" Tamaki said.

"Let Shiro take care of that tea set." Hikaru said.

"It's part of his training." Kaoru said.

"This kid is surprisingly sharp." Kyoya said. "A formidable eye, for a child."

"Okay, it's heavy, so be careful." Tamaki said. The tea set shattered.

"It's not my fault, okay? It's your fault for trying to make me do it." Shiro said.

"Kuri, -1 00,000 yen." Kyoya said.

"Hey, you should make the queer handle doing the chores!" Shiro said. "Instead, hurry up and teach me how to make a woman happy!"

"What kind of attitude is that? And above all, I'm not letting you get away with smarting off to Kuri. Place him in isolation!" Tamaki said.

"Yes, sir!" Twins said.

"What is this?! How come I've got cell bars dropping down on me?!" Shiro said.

"Yeah, really, why? This is supposed to be a music room, right?" said.

"Come on, let me out! Is this any way to treat your dear apprentice?!" Shiro said.

"You stay in there until you learn your lesson. I took you as my apprentice because you were serious about wanting to become a host, but maybe my expectations were wrong." Tamaki said.

"I am serious. Seriously serious. I want to become a host, too! I don't have any time! Show me how! You like girls, too...You like seeing girls with happy faces, so that's why you're a host, right? Please, show me how to do it! You're a genius at it, aren't you, King?!" Shiro said.

"Well, you may be sassy, but your will to become a host does at least seem to be genuine. Moreover, you are a lot like me in some ways." Tamaki said.

"You poor kid." Kuri said.

"Then, you'll turn me into the kind of host that can make women happy?!" Shiro said.

"A host that is unable to make a woman happy is no host at all. Very well. If that's how badly you want it, think about how best to use the material you've got to work with." Tamaki said.

"Material?" Shiro said.

"At Ouran Host Club, our fundamental policy is to use our own personal characteristics

to meet the needs of our guests. Starting with the "princely type," Tamaki... "The wild type...""The boy-Lolita type...""The little-devil type..."...and "the cool type." We pride ourselves on our many variations. With the addition of our honor student, natural rookie, Kuri..." Tamaki said.

"Natural type"? Shiro said.

"...we've got just about the perfect assortment." Tamaki said. "I'm not so sure we're going to find a new type beyond these. His age suggests the boy Lolita type...but that would overlap with Honey-senpai."

"Am I in the way now?" Honey said.

"Tepid! Quite tepid!" Mana said.

"Like I said, this is supposed to be a music room, right?" Kuri said.

"Gentlemen of the Host Club, to think that you'd be so lackluster in your character analysis, I am a little bit dumbfounded." Mana said.

"All right, Mana-chan, how would you work with the material he's got?" Tamaki said.

"We've already got the boy Lolita type covered with Honey-senpai."

"This is why I say you're lackluster! Listen up! While it's true that there are some

girls who feel their hearts beat faster in a way that's hard to explain over boys of a younger age group, or who have baby-faces, who we call shotokon fans, it is still a fairly broad category, whose preferences can be further split into even more delicate classifications. Yes, while Haninozuka-senpai may represent the little boy type of this boy Lolita category, in his case, the direction he should take...is the naughty-boy type, without a doubt!" Mana said.

"The naughty type..." Shiro said.

"The essentials of the naughty type include...always wearing shorts. Okay! Playing up your naughtiness...with skinned knees and cheeks! Run, like a spoiled child! Make it reckless! When you get there, trip, and make it big!" Mana said.

"Are you okay, little boy?" Girl said.

"Okay, then you say your line immediately!" Mana said.

"It's nothing. No big deal." Shiro said.

"Perfect! It's perfect! Outstanding." Mana said.

"That was perfect coaching, Mana-chan." Tamaki said.

"Idiots... These people are idiots..." Shiro said. "Never mind! There's no way I'll make her happy with this."

"Her?" Kiana said.

"Younger boys are just no good for anything, huh? After I took the trouble of coaching him, he won't keep going. What a selfish kid, not taking a liking to the lessons he was getting." Mana said.

"Typically, no one would take a liking to that sort of lesson." Rei said.

"But never mind that, aren't you a little bit concerned about him?" Mana said.

"I don't have any time." What could that mean?" Kiana said. "What's more, he said something about a "her."

Xxx

"How did we get to this point? We snuck in easily enough." Kuri said.

"I look like I'm in grade school dressed like this, so I'll be okay, Kuri-chan." Honey said.

"You sure do. I can understand you wearing an elementary-school uniform to sneak into the elementary school, and Honey-senpai, I do think you look good in that, but why do all of the hostesses have to dress up in a middle-school outfit?" Kuri said.

"All right, the mission is underway." Tamaki said.

"Mission?" Hikaru said.

"What one?" Kaoru said.

"Judging from the situation, I've decided that our special infiltration team...will be you two." Tamaki said to Kuri.

"But what mission?" Kuri said. "We're standing out plenty. Was there any reason for these disguises?"

"There is a reason. There's a damn good reason." Twins said.

"Kuri-chan, that way!" Honey said. "Ava, Billie follow me!"

"How cute..." Kaoru said.

"Ah, in that miniskirt, she almost looks like a doll." Hikaru said.

"In other words, you just wanted to see her like that." Tamaki glowered.

"In here. This is Shiro-chan's classroom." Honey said. "When I was in elementary school, this was my classroom, too."

"There's nobody here." Rei said.

"Oh, there's no one here, is there?" Tamaki said.

"This takes me back." Kaoru said.

"I wonder if my graffiti is still here." Hikaru said.

"The school changes out all the desks each year." Kyoya said.

"Let's go to the cafeteria after this." Hikaru said.

"And the gymnasium, too." Kaoru said.

"Good idea, good idea." Tamaki said.

"If you're going to come in such large numbers, there's no reason to disguise ourselves and sneak in, is there?" Rei said.

"Who cares?" Hikaru said.

"There's nobody here." Kaoru said.

"If the teacher finds us..." Hikaru said.

"...it sure will be a pain coming up with an excuse why we snuck in." Kaoru said.

"Shh! Be quiet!" Honey said.

"Zip your lips!" Kuri said.

"How terribly cute she is!" They all said.

"Looks like he's gone." Kuri said. "But now that we've snuck in like this, how are we going to find out more about Shiro-kun?"

"Here's something interesting." Honey said.

"What is it? Shiro-kun?" Kiana said.

"The Classical Music Club, huh?" Hikaru said.

"He seems to be enjoying himself." Kaoru said.

"So Shiro-kun really can look like that, when he smiles." Kuri said.

"Yeah." Kiana said. "There he is. That's Shiro-chan."

Xxx

"Takaoji-kun..." Kamishiro said. "Did you practice the new piano piece?"

"No, not that much." Shiro said.

"Well then, I'll show you. Come play it with me." Kamishiro said.

"Nah, that's okay. There's only one grand piano. You should use it, Kamishiro."

"Okay, I will." Kamishiro said. "But if you want to play, too, just say so."

XXX

"Pardon me, miss...I could not find a rose more beautiful than you, but please, take this. Incidentally, I wonder if you would tell me about that girl playing the piano." Tamaki said.

"Kamishiro Hina-chan?" Girl said.

"Hina-chan, is it?" Tamaki said.

"You better not go falling in love with Hina-chan. You know what? Hina-chan is going to be moving away real soon. Her father has to move to Germany for his job before the end of next week." Girl said.

"What are you doing here?!" Shiro said. "Hey! What are you doing?! Put me down! Put me down!"

"Stop thrashing around. Guys, we're leaving." Tamaki said.

"Put me down! What do you think you're doing, you idiot king?!" Shiro said.

"You're the idiot. Teach you how to make women happy, you say? Don't make me laugh!However much you ask, how are we to answer that? It's not some unspecified number

of girls you want to make happy, it's just one girl, Kamishiro Hina, isn't it? Only you can find the way to do that, right? Listen to me, as hosts, it's our job to make the girls happy. But the truth is, when it comes to a single girl that you like, it's not as a host that you

must face her, but as a man. It's not a full-fledged host that you want to become, it's a full-fledged man, isn't it?" Tamaki said.

"It doesn't matter anymore. There's no time. I just wanted to at least watch her play as much as I could before she left. That's all." Shiro said.

"That set piece was a duet arrangement of a Mozart sonata, right?" Tamaki sat down at a piano.

"Has there always been a grand piano in this room?" Kuri said.

"This is supposed to be a music room, after all." Hikaru said.

"Yes, even though it may not be in use. It is a music room, after all." Kaoru said.

"Music room." Rei said.

"It was there before, it was just where you couldn't see it." Twins said.

"Awesome..." Kuri said.

"For the next week, your early mornings, lunch recesses, and after-school periods will be spent in concentrated piano training. Get yourself ready." Tamaki said.

"W-Why?" Shiro said.

"You did become my apprentice, right? Besides, that girl looked like... she wanted to play together with you." Tamaki said.

"Welcome, princess." Group said. "Today's main program will be Takaoji Shiro's...piano recital."

"Princess, if you please. Let's play together." Shiro said.

"Mm-hmm!" Kamishiro said.

"We've done a good thing." Tamaki said.

"Wholehearted love...Is that another way that Shiro-kun takes after you, Nii-san?" Kuri said.

"Yeah, positively so." Tamaki said.

Xxx

"So, you're exchanging emails with Hina-chan in Germany every day?" Girl said.

"More or less. But she's a lot more jealous than you'd expect. So let's keep the fact

that I'm getting along so well with you pretty ladies a secret, okay?" Shiro said.

"Oh, how cute!" Ava said.

"Pretty ladies, he says!" Billie said.

"I wish he was my little brother." Kiana said.

"Naughty boys are the best!" Rei said.

"I could just kiss you." Kuri said.

"Me too." Mana said.

"W-Why does he have to take my guests, too?" Tamaki said.

"It's easy to be popular with the women." Shiro said. "You had your guests taken from you so easily, are you sure you can call yourself the Host King?"

"I thought he came off looking pretty good for a change...but it ended up with

this for a payoff after all. He really is just like Nii-san. I'm sure that Senpai must have

been like that when he was a child, too." Kuri said.

"I was not! I absolutely was not, Kuri! I was... I was...just a little precocious, innocent boy!" Tamaki said.


	13. Park

"Am I dreaming? This is Japan. There aren't supposed to be any tropics here." Kuri said.

"Look, Kuri, there are birds from the south tropics here. Pretty, aren't they? I wonder

what kind of birds they're called." Tamaki said.

"Where's the exit, again?" Kuri said.

"Spending time taking it easy like this is important for us to refine our 'round-the-clock beauty." Tamaki said.

"I don't care to spend time in such pointless activities, so can I go? I want to study, and I have to do my laundry today. Where is this place, anyway?" Kuri said.

"This is a theme park that the Otori Group runs, "Tropical Aqua Garden."" Kyoya said.

"But Kyoya, didn't you say that your family ran a hospital, or did some kind of medical therapy work?" Rei said.

"Well, it's a diversified enterprise, that does lots of things, but you could say that

this is related to therapy. There are many who suffer from stress, or from feeling cooped-up, who would like to spend time in the south tropics, but for economic reasons or lack of time, are unable to go. This is a convalescent theme park, to help treat those people. The Otori Group is always thinking of the happiness of others." Kyoya said.

"This sounds relentlessly shady." Rei said.

"It doesn't open until next month, but the Host Club has it reserved today on a special advance invitation." Kyoya said.

"It feels so calm." Mana said.

"There aren't any guests here that we have to serve, either. It truly is a handsome young warrior's holiday," Tamaki said.

"I guess you could call it." Kuri said.

"Kiana-chan!" Honey said. "Want some coconut juice to drink? Or maybe some mango cake?"

"Um... sure, the coconut juice." Kiana said.

"Okay!" Honey said. "Kiana, let's go down the waterslide!"

"Okay let me change." Kiana said.

"Okay, take care of them." Kyoya said.

"Okay, ladies. This way." Woman said.

"Just a minute!" Ava said.

"We have some swimsuits available for you in this room." Woman said. "Okay, ladies, please select one."

"No, I don't need a swimsuit." Kuri said.

"Well then, I will select one for you." Woman said.

"Hold on, not that one. I don't want a bikini." Billie said.

"But you'd look so good in this one..." Woman said. "Oh, look. This one would be cute."

"Eh? But that's nothing more than strings, isn't it?" Rei said.

Tamaki swooped in.

"Brother?" Rei said.

"H-Hurry up and put this on." Tamaki handed her a tasteful one piece. "Girls should only show off that much skin after they get married."

"So, you're not going swimming?" Hikaru said.

"By any chance, can you not swim?" Kaoru said.

"I think I can swim as well as the next guy, but I'm just not very interested in this place,

and I'd rather just go home than goof around here swimming." Billie said. "What's so great about this overblown facility, anyway? A vinyl pool should be all you need for playing in the water."

"What's a vinyl pool?" Twins said.

"Let's see...They're about this big, and you pump them up full of air." Ava said.

"Dummy." Hikaru said.

"That's called an air boat." Kaoru said.

"There's no way something that small could be a pool." Hikaru said.

"Yeah." Kaoru said.

"It is a pool. Little kids play in them a lot, you know?" Billie said.

"Kiana-chan!" Honey said. "Let's go play! They have a current pool over there."

"No, I'm not swimming today. Huh? Honey-senpai, do you not know how to swim?" Kiana said.

"Just looks cuter this way." Honey said.

"Tepid! Quite tepid!" Mana said.

"Mana-chan?" All said.

"Is that rig set up everywhere?" Hikaru said.

"That's an amazing get-up." Kaoru said.

"What's that pattern on your belly?" Kuri said.

"Oh, don't you know? I'm cosplaying." Mana said.

"Who are you?" Kuri said.

"La-la." Mana said.

"La-La? The manga magazine?" Twins said.

"A dream, risen from the abyss; those blue eyes, lighting up young men's faces;

that tone of voice...See? I'm Kisaragi Quon!" Mana said.

"We can't tell. We can't tell that at all." Twins said.

"Hey, sir, are you sure it's okay for a girl to be dressed up..." Hikaru said.

"...like that?" Kaoru said.

"That might be okay." Tamaki said.

"Why?" Twins said.

"Maybe because it's cosplay?" Tamaki said.

"In any case, your understanding of Haninozuka-senpai is lukewarm!" Mana said.

"Takashi! Whee!" Honey said.

"How do you mean?" Twins said.

"It's just like he got done saying." Hikaru said.

"Just looks cuter this way." Kaoru said.

"I do not see that as being sweet and innocent." Mana said. "Indeed it isn't. Place a subject at the end of the sentence, and you'll see. Just looks cuter this way...don't I?"

"He planned that?!" All said.

"That's Haninozuka-senpai for you. Apparently, he felt threatened in his position as the little boy type from last episode, so he seems to be taking steps to fortify himself. I've got to give him more credit. He is quite deep." Mana said.

"Look over here, everyone!" Honey said. "Look! See? Even as hard as we're swimming, we never move forward from the same place!"

"So, what's the deal?" Hikaru said.

"Is that guy really that deep?" Kaoru said.

"Bulls-eye!" Mana said.

"Sir, let's play! Water gun battle! Me and Kaoru on a team against you, sir. If you get it in the face, you lose, and there's a penalty game." Hikaru said.

"Hmph, who'd want to play along with that childish game?" Tamaki said.

"Kuri, let's get married right now. We'll have our honeymoon in Atami!" Twins said.

"You think anyone is about to let dear Kuri marry you guys!?" Tamaki said. "Brother will not allow it!"

"Take this!" Hikaru said.

"Surefire sideways-leaping beam!" Kaoru said.

"That's against the rules!" Tamaki said.

"Honey!" Kuri said.

"Mitsukuni!" Mori said.

"Mori..." Mana said. "Guys, we're going after Honey!"

"This pool is the shortest way!" Tamaki said. "Charge!"

"Oh, that way is..." Kyoya said.

"There are alligators swimming there!" Kuri said.

"Okay, that pool is out." Hikaru said.

"Let's take this route!" Kaoru said.

"They're here, too!" Reiko said. "And here, too! Why are there alligators here?"

"There can't be. Those pools are the tropical animal area. I guess it is dangerous to

let the alligators run loose. Although, it's the current pool's switch location that's the problem here. I'll have to speak to the designers. I have to thank you. I've gotten some good data here." Kyoya said.

"For what?!" Kuri said.

"This is Tropical Aqua Garden's area map. This is our present location. To get to this point, where I predict Honey-senpai got carried away to, we will need to go through the

jungle area in the southern block. That's a range of about 800 meters. There seem to be a lot of indeterminate areas in this jungle along our way. Those are zones that are still under development. There could be things in there even more dangerous...than alligators." Kyoya said.

"All right, this is a survival mission! We have to safely penetrate this jungle area, and rescue Honey-senpai!" Tamaki said.

"This has all but become a real jungle in here." Hikaru said.

"I've been hearing lots of strange animal calls." Kaoru said.

"These animal voices..." Hikaru said.

"...couldn't be the real thing, right?" Kaoru said.

"I'm not too sure. In all of the work we do, we tend to be authenticity-oriented." Kyoya said.

"As usual, Mori is poker-faced, and I can't tell what he's thinking, but though he may look calm, it's times like these-" Mana said.

"Mori-senpai..." Hikaru said.

"...is acting about as clumsy as you, sir." Kaoru said.

"What?!" Tamaki said.

"Sure enough, he's pretty concerned." Mana said.

"Whoops, it must be squall time." Kyoya said.

"Mori is awfully close to Honey, isn't he?" Mana said. "Are they childhood friends, or something?"

"Those two..." Hikaru said.

"...are cousins." Kaoru said.

"Huh? They're relatives?" Mana said.

"The Morinozukas have been serving the Haninozuka family for generations." Kyoya said. "Although, two generations ago, they became relatives by marriage, and the families' master-servant relationship has long since faded away. Even so, Mori-senpai has always accompanied Honey-senpai."

"It must get his blood going. The blood of the vassals of yore, which flows through Mori-senpai. What a great story! I'm touched!" Tamaki said.

"That's what you call a great story? I'm not sure I understand all this about his blood getting going, but he does think an awful lot of Honey-senpai, huh?" Mana said. "Mori, it'll be all right. Honey is safe. He's tougher than you might think, and if he gets hungry, there are a lot of bananas on the trees."

"Hey, now..." Hikaru said.

'How is he going to respond to that?" Kaoru said.

"Yeah." Mori said.

"Mori, it's not that way. Honey is in the other direction." Mana said.

"No, he's this way." Mori said.

"Just a minute! It's too dangerous to go alone! I'll come with you!" Mana said.

"Mana..." Mori said.

"That's the first time he's ever called me by name." Mana said.

"My family's private police force is going to send in a search team." Kyoya said. "They're better equipped to find him than we are. Let's go back to the gate and wait."

"Hey, where are Mori and Mana?" Twins said.

Xxx

"Emergency mobilization order. Kyoya-sama's friend has gone missing near the current pool. Search target is a small young man. Repeat, search target is a small young man. Also, eliminate any suspicious figures without mercy. Eliminate any suspicious figures without mercy. Target confirmed. The target has been captured by a suspicious man. Now taking subject into custody."

Xxx

"Now that I think about it, I didn't tell them there were any other visitors." Kyoya said. "Oh, well."

Xxx

"You there! Let the girl go, or we will resort to using force!" Man said.

"Oh, hold on!" Mana said.

"The man is resisting! Ready to fire warning shots!" Man said.

"Takashi, Mana-chan, move!" Honey said.

"What do you think you're doing, pipsqueak?!" Man said.

"No matter, get this one, too!" Man said.

"Don't go being so reckless. Picking on my friends is a no-no." Honey said.

"Mana! Mana, are you all right?!" Tamaki said.

"Ah, Tama-chan!" Honey said.

"Huh?" Kiana said. "Honey!"

"Kiana!" Honey said.

"I was worried about you." Kiana said.

"Well, Honey was the one who did this, right? Then he must have been holding back." Kyoya said.

"Huh? What do you mean by that?" Kiana said. "Huh?"

"You don't know?" Hikaru said.

"The Haninozukas have been famous for their martial arts for generations." Kaoru said.

"They've instructed not just the police and SDF, but overseas military forces, as well.

In particular, Honey-senpai has been called the most fearsome dreadnaught in the history of the Haninozuka family, and by the time he was in middle school, he was the national champion in both karate and judo." Kyoya said. "Incidentally, Mori-senpai also became the national champion in kendo, when he was in middle school."

"Honey, what are you doing here?" Kiana said.

"You know what? I reached the end of the current pool, so I went looking for everyone." Honey said.

"We humbly apologize!" Men said.

"I am a 2nd-generation student of the Ishizuka Dojo!" Man said.

"I am a student of the Todoroki Dojo!" Man said.

"I'm from the Otake Dojo! We are in your debt!" Man said.

"Oh, is that right?" Honey said.

"Yes, sir! We're so sorry! We were completely unaware that we were looking for

Haninozuka Mitsukuni-sama, and have committed a terrible offense! Although, accidental though it may have been, my dojo will take pride in the day that I was able to engage you, Mitsukuni-sama, personally, for generations to come!" Men said.

"He is deep. This goes way beyond deep." Kiana said.

"Takashi, you did very well protecting Kuri-chan. You didn't get lonesome without me around, right?" Honey said.

"I wouldn't say that." Mori said.

"We should go to the beach next, to clear the mood." Hikaru said.

"The beach would be nice." Kaoru said.

"You idiots, Kuri wouldn't be interested in that." Tamaki said.

"I might not mind going to the beach. This obviously artificial location may not be any fun, but the beach would be nice. It's pretty there." Kuri said.

"All right, you got it!" Tamaki said "Next, we go to the beach!"

"He said we're all going to the beach next. That will be fun, huh?" Reiko said.

"Yeah." Twins said


	14. Beach

The beach?" Kuri said.

"Yes, the beach!" Tamaki said.

"The beach..." Kuri said.

"You said so before, didn't you?" Hikaru said.

"You wouldn't mind going to a real beach." Kaoru said.

"Did I say that?" Kuri said.

"Yes, you did. And so..." Hikaru said.

"...we've prepared some swimsuits for Ava and Billie." Kaoru said.

"Isn't this cute?" Hikaru said.

"I think...that this would look good on Kiana-chan." Honey said.

"How dare you guys heap sexual harassment on my little sister and her friends!" Tamaki said. "That's enough of that!"

"Then, we aren't going to the beach?" Reiko said.

"Whoever said we weren't going?" Twins said.

"Oh, then you do want to go!" Tamaki said.

"Can Usa-chan come, too?" Honey said.

"I have no objections." Mana said. "Huh? We're really going?"

"Come on, let's go to the beach!" All said.

"So, why Okinawa?" Billie said.

"Kyoya's folks have a private beach here." Tamaki said.

"It's a beautiful place, huh?" Twins said.

"Yeah." Ava said.

"But as long as we're going somewhere, why not..." Twins said.

"...the Caribbean..." Hikaru said.

"...or Fiji?" Kaoru said.

"Do you think the girls have a passport?" Kyoya said.

"Ahh..." Twin said.

"Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness." Reiko said smirking.

Beach

"It's so pretty." Ava said.

"Take it easy, Hikaru!" Kaoru said.

"Sorry! I'll get it!" Hikaru said. "Wait for me, Kaoru!"

"It's not me! The ball is running away!" Kaoru said.

"Why?" Billie said.

"Your two-shot time is up. Next, please." Kyoya said.

"Why are we conducting Hostess Club activities here at the beach?" Reiko said.

"Reiko-san..." Boy said.

"Reiko-San, aren't you going swimming?" Boy said.

"Oh, I like looking at the sea more." Reiko said.

"Well, would it be okay if we joined you?" Boy said.

"How come?" Reiko said. "Go ahead and swim. You're wearing such cute swimsuits, and all."

"We were completely fooled, huh?" Hikaru said.

"Who'd have thought he'd bring guests with us?" Kaoru said.

"We really didn't figure on that." Hikaru said.

"I invited you club members along for free," Kyoya said. "so be sure to perform your services."

"But with guests here..." Hikaru said.

"...they won't be able to hang with us." Kaoru said.

"Everything has been taken into account." Kyoya said.

"Did you think that I would let my dear little sister in her swimsuit be exposed to your eyes?" Tamaki said.

"What could have come over Tamaki-kun?" Girl said.

"Don't worry about it. It's his usual condition." Kuri said, rolling her eyes.

"Mana-chan! Let's go hellfish shunting!" Honey said.

"I think you mean "shellfish hunting." And I've never heard of anyone going shellfish hunting...anywhere like this... What is this?! Mori-senpai..." Kiana said.

"My folks' private police force wanted to make up for their offense toward Honey-senpai earlier, so I'm letting them do this." Kyoya said.

"Amazing! Sounds like fun!" Kiana said.

"Well, you two look like you're enjoying yourselves, so I guess it's all right." Kyoya said.

"Tamaki! We caught a bunch for tonight's supper!" Kiana said.

"You did, you did, my rival?" Tamaki said.

"Yep yep!" Kiana said.

"Huh? What was that?" Tamaki said.

"Tonight's supper is going to be a real treat!" Kuri said, approaching and hanging around.

"What do you think, Kuri? Do you find this large crab to be...crab-tivating?" Tamaki said.

"Yeah sure." Kuri rolled her eyes.

"How cute!" Tamaki said.

"Cen...ti...pede!" Girls said.

Kuri let the centipede go.

"Hey, Kuri...As much as it would pain me to think that you're a bug-loving, kindhearted girl...couldn't you have at least set that thing free more gently?" Hikaru said.

"It's okay. It will take more than that to kill it." Kuri said.

"Kuri-san is so tough." Boy said.

"And yet so nice, huh?" Boy said.

"Fantastic!" Boy said.

"Well, okay, fine." Hikaru said.

"Usually, though, girls react quite differently." Kaoru said.

"Isn't there anything she's afraid of?" Hikaru said.

"Sir! Sir!" Twins said. "We just thought up a fun game. Want to play?"

"We call it..." Hikaru said.

"...the "Who can find Kuri's weakness?" game!" Kaoru said.

"What an awful-sounding game." Tamaki said.

"Yeah, you're probably right. She'd only show her weakness to someone she was close to, and all." Twins siad.

"What are the rules?!" Tamaki said.

"That's more like it." Hikaru said.

"The deadline is tomorrow at sunset." Kaoru said.

"Whoever finds out what her weakness is first, wins." Hikaru said.

"I will give whoever wins a prize." Kyoya said, showing off some photos.

"We're in on this, too!" Others said.

"So then, everyone is playing. But Kyo-chan, how is it that you have those photos?" Honey said.

"I am her brother. Why don't we just leave it at that?" Kyoya said.

Xxx

"This place here..." Hikaru said.

"...is said to be a paranormal spot," Kaoru said.

"which not even the locals will come to very often." Hikaru said.

"It's a cave that only shows itself at low tide." Kaoru said.

"Up to now, they say that a lot of people have drowned down here." Hikaru said.

"They say that their lingering resentment drags passers-by into the dark." Kaoru said.

"What's that there?!" Twins said.

"What is this? A test of courage or something?" Kuri said.

"Aren't you afraid of ghosts?" Twins said.

"I've never seen one." Kuri said.

"Kuri-chan! Over here, over here!" Honey said.

"Um...Is this thing even allowed to be on the beach?" Kuri said.

"It's dark, and confined, and scary!" Honey said.

"Honey-senpai..." Kuri said.

"This is a mori, right, Mori-senpai?" Kuri said.

"Yeah." Mori said.

"This game is useless, huh?" Hikaru said.

"Ah... I'm getting bored." Kaoru said.

"She's not cut out to be a heroine, with all those things she's not afraid of." Hikaru said.

"Oh..." Tamaki said.

"Sir?" Hikaru said.

"What are you doing?" Kaoru said.

"Rat snakes! Having this many together has to be icky, right?" Tamaki said.

"Anyone would find those unpleasant. That's not a weakness." Twins said. "Then again, does Okinawa even have rat snakes?"

"And another side dish..." Kuri said.

Xxx

"Reiko-San!" Girl said.

"Hey there! This breeze feels great!" Reiko said.

"It's dangerous up there." Girl said.

"This feels great, huh?" Reiko said.

"Mm-hmm." Girl said.

"Oho, there are girls up here!" Boy said.

"Lucky! Hey girls, let's play together." Boy said.

"What are you people doing here?" Reiko said.

"Who cares? It must be dull, huh?" Boy said.

"Please stop. This is a private beach." Reiko said.

"What's that? Does that mean "sweethearts"?" Boy said.

"Ee-yow!" Boy said.

"Would you go away now? They don't want you. They say you're bothering them." Reiko said.

"Reiko-san..." Girl said.

"Why, you little girl..." Boy said.

Reiko reached behind her to realize that she didn't have a weapon.

Xxx

"Habu snakes! Those are habu snakes, sir!" Twins said.

"What do I do?!" Tamaki said.

"Tamaki-sama! It's Kuri-San!" Girl said.

Xxx

"What's with these spindly arms?" Boy said.

"Reiko-san!" Girl said.

"Don't go trying to act tough when you're just a girl! You should just go swimming in the ocean..." Boy pushed her.

"Reiko!" Tamaki said.

"...like a good girl!" Boy said.

"Reiko-chan!" Honey said.

"Sir!" Twins said.

Tamaki dove in and saved his sister.

"Where are they?" Tamaki said.

"We've kept their ID cards, and respectfully asked them to leave. The girls went back to the hotel. I've called a doctor, who should be here shortly." Kyoya said.

"I see." Tamaki said.

"I'm all right. I don't need a doctor." Reiko said.

"Are you one of those? Actually a martial arts master, like Honey-senpai? How could you think that you, a girl, by yourself, could do anything against those boys?!" Tamaki said.

"It had nothing to do with being a boy or a girl. I was just there, and didn't have time to think about anything like-" Reiko said.

"Well think about it, you idiot! You are a girl!" Tamaki said.

"I will apologize for making you come after me, but I can't understand any other

reason why you'd be mad at me. I haven't done anything wrong." Reiko said.

"You haven't, huh? Then you go right ahead. I'm not speaking to you again

until you admit you were wrong!" Tamaki said.

The Ootori family villa

"Ta-da! The crabs are all boiled!" Honey said.

"I'm sorry, Senpai, that there aren't any maids here now." Kyoya said.

"We're the ones that barged in on your villa, Kyo-chan." Honey said. "Takashi, go call Mana-chan in."

"It's awfully gloomy out there, huh? It looks like it might rain." Billie said.

"Speaking of gloomy..." Hikaru said.

"There's someone even more gloomy in here than the darkness outside." Kaoru said.

"If you're going to mope like that..." Hikaru said.

"...then you shouldn't have picked a fight with her." Kaoru said.

"Reiko, did you buy that dress yourself?" Hikaru said.

"My mom must have repacked my bags for me." Reiko said. "She always wants me to wear stuff like this."

"Good job, Reiko's mom!" Twins said.

"Reiko-chan, you look cute." Honey said.

"The air is stuffy, huh? It's kind of tense in here." Kuri said.

"Let's eat, Kiana-chan! I'm sure the crabs we caught today are delicious." Honey said.

"These crabs...taste in-crab-ible. Get it?" Kuri said.

"Aren't you eating too much, to say the least?" Tamaki said.

"Huh? I thought you weren't speaking to me." Reiko said.

"Y-You're not being cute." Tamaki said. "Okay, I get it. You're not going to reconsider what you've done. Fine, then. I'm going to bed. Kyoya, show me to my room."

"All right. Well, if you'll excuse me, too..." Kyoya said.

"Maybe I really should learn some karate or something." Reiko said.

"Oh, then it is bothering you?" Hikaru said.

"That's the direction your thoughts are going, is it?" Kaoru said.

"It's not like we'd stop you, or anything," Hikaru said.

"but that's not what this is about, is it?" Kaoru said.

"To be honest, I wish you'd reconsider how rashly you acted today, too." Hikaru said.

"Why? Hikaru, I didn't make trouble for you guys, did I?" Reiko said.

"That's not true, Reiko-chan. You should tell everyone you're sorry, okay?" Honey said.

"Understand? And tell Tama-chan that you're sorry for worrying him so much, too."

"You were all worried about me?" Reiko said.

"Do you believe this girl?" Hikaru said.

"Oh...I'm sorry." Reiko said.

"Aww, what for, you little mutt? You're so cute, we'll forgive you!" Twins said. "What's the matter?"

"I don't feel so good." Reiko said.

"You ate too much crab." Twins said.

"Kuri-chan, be strong!" Honey said.

"Come on, over to the washroom! The washroom!" Twins said.

Xxx

"What a wasteful thing I've done. I was in such a rush, I just plunged into the nearest room. Where am I?" Reiko said.

"All done?" Kyoya said.

"I'm sorry for intruding into the room of a stranger..." Reiko said.

"How rude. It's me." Kyoya said.

"Kyoya?" Reiko said. "Oh, I'm sorry, I seem to have gotten everyone worried about me."

"I wasn't particularly worried. It was hard to stop Hikaru and Kaoru from trying to beat those punks half-to-death, though. Also, there was the trouble I went to sending bouquets to the girls by way of apology, after looking forward to coming along on this trip." Kyoya said.

"I'll pay for those flowers myself." Reiko said.

"The bouquets cost 50,000 per person, so it comes to 600,000." Kyoya turned off the lights.

"Why did you turn the lights off?" Reiko said.

"If you want to, you could pay for those flowers with your body." Kyoya pushed her down onto the bed. "You should rethink your own gullibility, that things have nothing to do with a person being a boy or a girl. You've made a mistake in leaving yourself so open."

"So that's it. Kyoya, you won't do it. I mean, there isn't anything to be gained

by getting into it with me, right?" Reiko said.

"Isn't there?" Kyoya said. "You are, after all my fiancée."

"F-Fiancée?!" Reiko said in shock, but was silenced by Kyoya's lips on hers.

After a moment, he withdrew. "There is definitely something to be gained, Reiko. So much more than you realize. But not to be taken by force."

"Kyoya, you're even nicer than I thought. After all, you were just backing up what Tamaki-nii said, right? You intentionally played the bad guy to show me that, didn't you?" Reiko said. "As for fiancé..." A smirk played on her lips. "I assume it is true if you are saying it. For Tamaki-nii's sake...for him...please keep it a secret a while longer?"

Kyoya looked into her eyes, and found he could not protest.

"Kyoya? Do you have any lotion? This sunburn is worse than I thought-Kyoya, you rotten..." Tamaki said, seeing them together.

"Here. Use as much as you want, you goof." Kyoya said.

"A secret...An interesting thought, in its own way." Kyoya thought.

Xxx

"What were you doing with Kyoya?" Tamaki said.

"Nothing, really." Reiko said.

"You expect me to believe it was nothing?! Then how come the room's lights were out and you two were all alone?!" Tamaki said. "You are positively... Never mind. A lot has happened today, and you must be tired, so hurry on off to bed."

"Brother...Er, I mean..." Reiko said.

"Reiko?" Tamaki said.

"I'm sorry." Reiko said.

"I know." Tamaki said.

All of a sudden Kuri headed into Tamaki's room. Reiko withdrew. Tamaki gave her a look, surprised to see her.

"I just remembered something I have to take care of, so if you'll excuse me..." Kuri hid in his closet.

"Nobody has any business in there!" Tamaki said. "Kuri, can you not stand thunder? Come on, Kuri, get out here. Staying in there makes it that much more scary, doesn't it?"

"I'm all right. I always get through it by doing this. Always..." Kuri said.

"Always, by yourself...in your home...without calling on us, even though we're nearby...I see. I think I get it. Okay, I lose. You grew up without relying on anyone else. So, come on...Come on over here. From now on, I'll be there. I'll do all I can not to take my eyes off of you, to make sure that you're never alone again." Tamaki said.

Xxx

"Are you sure this is okay?" Hikaru said.

"Leaving the two of them together?" Kaoru said.

"She's with Tamaki. What could possibly go wrong?" Kyoya said.


	15. Lobelia

"The Zuka Club you say." Kiana said. "They are on their way here?"

"Yes." Kuri said. "They seem to be quite interested in us."

"Then by all means, let's show them a good time." Mana grinned.

"Places everyone!" Kiana said. "It's showtime."

Xxx

Benio, Hinagiku, and Suzuran ventured into the Hostess club.

"Greetings and Salutations." Kiana smiled.

"So you entertain men here?" Benio said in disbelief.

"Don't worry." Kuri said. "We don't discriminate. We entertain anyone of any gender who happens to be interested. And after all, isn't that what the Zuka club does?"

"Well we offer culture and theater as well at an all girls school—" Benio said, rather breathless.

Ava and Billie were upon her. "Well close your eyes and listen to your heart. Don't you see that we are the same."

"All about female empowerment." Ava said, smiling.

"W-Well we..." Suzuran said.

"That is..." Hinagiku said.

"You are simply beautiful maidens." Benio said at last, recovering. "May I recruit you to St Lobelia?"

"Alas, we enjoy cooperation with the Host Club next door." Kiana said. "We share many ideals with you Zuka...except for your disdain of men."

"Speak for yourself..." Kuri muttered.

"We are not giving up maidens!" Benio said. "We shall return!"


	16. Home

"Koh...Leh...Aht...!" Sang Ava's brethren.

She danced in the firelight and clapped her hands.

"Leh Leh Leh AAAAH!" Ava sang.

She spun and twirled around the fire, beads jangling.

"Excuse me sir, can I tell you your fortune?" Naomi asked Kaoru, who was watching.

"No...I know what my fortune is." Kaoru watched Ava. "Has she always been..."

"One of the People?" Naomi said. "She is a Gypsy Shuvani. How did you not know...do you really know her or not?"

Ava turned to Kaoru and pulled him into a dance.

He hand never known this much about her.

Xxx

Hikaru headed to a Victorian style house. It was a beautiful house. There was a sudden crash, and Billie ran out, splaying her fingers out.

Lightning flew from her fingertips and hit a strange, red-skinned, tattooed creature.

It died instantly, and disappeared.

Hikaru hid behind the wall.

"I know you saw me Hikaru." Billie said.

She flicked her hand out and Hikaru was drawn to her with her magic.

"Is this really something to fear?" Billie asked. "It is something to celebrate. Something magical and beautiful. I want your life to be a part of mine."

Hikaru stared at her. "It already is. I will keep your secret."

Xxx

Kuri could feel it coming in the air tonight, though it wasn't until after dusk that she knew beyond any doubt that the tumescent moon would crest between the proud jut of the rocks this very night.

As befitting an event that happens, at the most, twice a year, the teachers instantly spread the word, calling all students to the shrine on the Lake.

Rei prepared Kuri, taking special care to anoint her body with fine oils, to outline her eyes with kohl, and to dress her in the richest of her Ritual garb—a sheath so soft it felt as if Kuri was wearing a garment made of water turned to cloth through the magick of her kami.

Kuri chose the largest and most beautiful of the conch shells she had collected during the last full moon. Kuri held it carefully before me while the teachers escorted her from the castle to the winding path that led down to the southern shore. As they walked, Kuri saw that the light from their torches reflected the pink center of the shell as if illuminating a secret.

Should Kuri live an eternity she would never forget the joy of this night. When the warm sea, ripe with salt and life, touched her bare feet, Kuri thought she might faint at the wash of pleasure that filled her.

Had the moon not been hanging full and bright above her beloved shrine, Kuri could have stood there for hours, utterly charmed by the lake. But the Goddess's moon reminded her Kuri her purpose so, with the aid of her circle, Kuri lit each of the element candles, placing them in turn on the hollowed pieces of driftwood carved specially to hold them. When her circle was complete, the music began. Drums beat, flutes trilled, and cymbals shimmered with happiness made audible.

Those gathered lifted their voices in sweet harmony, and Kuri danced, filled with the sea and the silver light of the moon. When that glowing orb was high enough in the sky, I raised the conch, signaling the music to quiet, then I launched the small candle vessels, stepping deeper into the embrace of the sea with them.

As always, Kuri's circle remained complete. Kuri's element did not fail her. Out of love for her, and to honor the Goddess, tides and waves stilled, suspending motion so that Kuri stood with her conch in the center of a magickal circle.

Smiling, Kuri dipped the shell into the sea and then turned to face the multitude that stretched as far as she could see along the shore and up the rocky coast. Tamaki was among them, watching her in awe.

"Merry meet!" Kuri cried

"Merry meet!" Their response was a joyous shout.

"The full moon is a time when the veil between our world and the Goddess, the known and the unknown, is transparent. On nights such as this magick is afoot!" Kuri spoke the words she knew so well that it seemed as if they had been written across my heart. "Tonight Ritual takes on a layer of mystery as the glistening symbol of Selene has risen between our beloved Shrine. So tonight, Hogwarts,we revel in the Goddess's additional blessing. Any task you finish tonight will be blessed . . . any purpose you choose to voice tonight will be blessed . . . any joining you wish to complete tonight will be blessed."

"Hail, Selene!" they cried.

"And now, I shall finish this Ritual of magickal completion." Kuri turned so that she faced the full moon, shining so brilliantly that it caused Hogwarts to cast deep blue shadows over the water. Holding the conch above her head, positioned so beams of silver light made the water within it molten, Kuri recited the Full Moon Blessing for the students: "Above me I feel your love, my Goddess. Full of the promise that through you, my Goddess. All things ripen and come to fruition, my Goddess. As the diaphanous boundary between worlds, my Goddess. Is illuminated by the white light of your sign, my Goddess. I ask that some small ray of your love descend, my Goddess. Fill this seaborne chalice, my Goddess. So that I might pour it over me, my Goddess. And take your gentle touch to the children of the night."

Kuri could not see the water within the conch, which she still held over my head, but I knew the instant Selene's hand touched it by the sudden warmth that radiated through her palms and the joyful gasps her heard echoing along the shore.

"The Full Moon is blessed for all to see; as the Goddess wills, so mote it be!" Kuri shouted the words as she poured the goddess-filled water over her head and down her body. The water covered her skin until Kuri glowed with a silver light that so mirrored the moon that she had to close her eyes so as not to be blinded by its brilliance, and while the others closed the circle, Kuri rejoiced with Selene's children of the night through song and dance, laughter and praise, and above all else through love . . . always love . . . .

Xxx

Reiko was just finishing playing the violin when she heard someone at the door.

Reiko Suoh lived in an apartment paid for by her father, but separate from her brother and separate from the main family.

Ever since the start of High School, Kyoya Ootori had come to visit on the weekends, bringing some strange gift that her brother had picked out.

Reiko opened the door. "What's the poison this week?"

"This time it's a jar of bath salts." Kyoya said. "I think he discovered your penchant for fancy baths and nice smells."

"Yeah cuz you blabbed Kyoya." Reiko snapped, putting the violin on its stand.

"Maybe." Kyoya advanced on her, lips at her neck. "Or maybe you should..."

Her breath caught.

Kyoya dropped it and stood back smirking at her. "Maybe you should talk to the goof once in a while."

Xxx

Meanwhile, Honey and Kiana sat around a table covered in cake and candlelight.

The room had stuffed animals everywhere and adorable soft things dotting every crevice.

In the background was a very normal casual CEO, Kiana's father, making tea in the kitchen.


	17. Siblings

"There might be a monster that comes out. So I have to try to find Big Brother quickly. Big Brother is a handsome prince, so he'll be sure to defeat the monster for me." Kirimi said.

Music Room 3

"Welcome!" Host Club said.

"My, what an unusual guest we have here, huh? Welcome, my little lost kitty cat." Tamaki said.

"When I opened the door, there were the police." Kirimi said.

"Kitty cat, where did you come from?" Tamaki said.

"Reverse harem! This is a reverse harem!" Kirimi said.

"This can't be right. Apparently, there's still some water left in my ear from when I was swimming at the pool." Hikaru said.

"That must be it, Commissioner. The reason why it sounded like this little girl said "reverse harem" must be because there's something funny going on with our ears." Kaoru said.

"Debauchery." Kirimi said. "Yay! There's debauchery here! "Glasses character"..."Boy Lolita"... "stoic type"... "Twincest"..."Studyhound"... Big Brother...You're blond, so you're Big Brother!"

"We've never heard about this." Hikaru said.

"You have another sister?" Kaoru said. "Besides Mana and Kurisuta?"

"No that's definitely it. Or at least I think that's it." Tamaki said.

"Now that you mention it, maybe you do kind of look alike. You are both blond, and all." Hikaru said.

"Why does Mana and Kurisuta look so different from you?" Kaoru said.

"Mana's mother is Kanako Ishiyama, a Japanese CEO of the Sakura Entertainment Corporation. Kurisuta's mother is Atsuko Hikawa, poor prostitute and previous Yankee gangster, but she is from an illustrious line of miko priestesses. Yuzuro Suoh's first born, and chosen heir, remains Tamaki." Kyoya said. "For that matter, are "glasses character" and "Big Brother" on the same level?"

"It doesn't matter, does it? She called me a "studyhound." Kuri said.

"Um... Miss, what's your name?" Tamaki said.

"Kirimi." Kirimi said.

"Kirimi-chan, you've made some kind of mistake, haven't you? I don't think that I have a younger sister." Tamaki said.

"You're not my Big Brother, even though you're blond?" Kirimi said.

"M-Me?" Tamaki said.

Kirimi's lip quivered.

"All right. As of today, I will be your Big Brother, your Big Brother! You're so cute, you're so cute..." Tamaki said.

"No matter how easily carried away by your feelings you may be, do you really think you should make such irresponsible declarations to a child that young?" Kuri said.

"I'm not irresponsible! I'll make sure I look after you! So come on home with me!" Tamaki said.

"What should we do, Kyoya-senpai?" Kuri said. "It's just possible that she actually does have a blond older brother in high school, isn't it?"

"Kirimi... Kirimi..." Nekozawa said.

"Um, who are you?" Kuri said.

"He's a foreigner!" Hikaru said.

"And for that matter, doesn't the door look different?" Kuri said.

"Kirimi..." Nekozawa said.

"Master..." Kuretake said. "...you've forgotten your attire."

"Nekozawa-senpai?" Kuri said.

"Master Umehito is terribly vulnerable to bright lights." Kuretake said.

"As such, if he doesn't shroud himself in black attire, he cannot endure the brightness, and will collapse. He even has to cover the lightness of the color of his hair with a dark wig! On the other hand, his sister, Mistress Kirimi, hates dimly lit places." Kadomatsu said.

"Then, she's Nekozawa-senpai's younger sister?" Kuri said.

"To tell the truth, that is correct." Kadomatsu said.

"K-K-Kirimi...so this is where you are..." Nekozawa said.

"Waah! A monster!" Kirimi said.

"It's all right. The cursed puppet Belzenef here is not the least bit scary. The Nekozawa family has worshipped cat-shaped objects for generations." Nekozawa said.

"No, it's not the puppet that she's afraid of, Nekozawa-senpai, it's you, yourself. It's because of the way you're dressed, isn't it?" Kuri said.

"Don't do that! It's so bright, I'll die!" Nekozawa said.

"Well, we could just darken the room!" Kuri said.

"Waah! I hate the dark!" Kirimi said.

"Oh, there, there. So now, she can't take it." Tamaki said.

"The tragedy that gave rise to these two opposite personalities is the reason why these two are called the Nekozawa Family's Romeo & Juliet." Kuretake said.

"Romeo and Juliet weren't brother and sister, and the situation is greatly different." Kadomatsu said.

"I am aware of that. It was just a snappy catch quote that I came up with just now. I thought it would make it more dramatic." Kuretake said.

"Oh, I see." Kadomatsu said.

"Incidentally, we have been sent to pick up Kirimi-sama." Kuretake said.

"Is the whole Nekozawa family...as strange as all this?" Kuri said.

"What are you talking about?! The Nekozawas are a distinguished, proper family, descended from the Tokarev dynasty of Russia!" Kuretake said.

"Tokarev?" Kuri said. "D-Don't you mean the Romanov dynasty?"

"But there's a legend that says that, for whatever reason, once every few hundred years, a person in the Nekozawa family is born, who, like Umehito-sama, is fated to be possessed by darkness...which may or may not be true." Kuretake said.

"It may or may not be true?" Hikaru said.

"So which is it?" Kaoru said.

"The Master, as a result of his condition, is unable to go near his sister without his black attire, and Mistress Kirimi fell in love with the fairy-tale prince of an older brother that she only knew from his portrait. After she learned that her older brother was enrolled in high school, she's gotten so that she will come looking for Umehito-sama like this." Kadomatsu said.

"Of course, we have repeatedly tried to comfort the Mistress with bedtime stories of princely characters, and having run out of stories to tell, we have lately added shojo manga having prince characters that appear in them to her repertoire, and she has gotten utterly absorbed in them." Kuretake said.

"This maid was the source of that?" Hikaru said.

"Debauchery in shojo manga? " Kaoru said.

"So then, Sashimi-chan doesn't..." Kuri said.

"That's kirimi." Kaoru said.

"It's Kirimi!" Kuri said. "...Kirimi-chan doesn't know that you're her older brother, Nekozawa-senpai?

"Yes. We have told her many times, but she just will not believe us." Kuretake said.

"Neko-chan must feel sad about that." Kuri said.

"Yes. Which is why...I offer prayers like this, every night, that Kirimi will come to love darkness." Nekozawa said.

"No, you've got it backwards." Hikaru said.

"You should get accustomed to bright places." Kaoru said.

"What are you trying to do to your sister?" Hikaru said.

"Come, Kirimi-sama." Kuretake said.

"Let's go home." Kadomatsu said.

"No! ! I'm staying with Big Brother! I'd rather stay with Big Brother!" Kirimi said.

"Nekozawa-senpai..." Tamaki said.

"That's okay, Suou-kun. It doesn't matter what happens to me. Please, please, give

Kirimi the love that she needs!" Nekozawa said.

"Nekozawa-senpai!" Kuri said.

"What's the matter, Big Brother?" Kirimi said.

"I'm sorry, Kirimi-chan. I'm really not your big brother. But don't you worry. Kirimi-chan, you have a prince that's even more handsome than me, and he's your real Big Brother." Tamaki said.

"Brother." Kuri said.

"Once she came here, Kirimi-chan became a guest of the Host Club. Ouran Host Club exists in order to bring happiness to girls. Having a brother and sister that don't care for each other, and who can't be with each other, is a serious problem that should not be! As of now, "Operation Reform Nekozawa-senpai Into the Bright, Princely Character that

Kirimi-chan Prefers" is underway!" Tamaki said.

"Again?" Kuri said.

"B-But...reforming Umehito-sama's dark-possessed character?" Kuretake said.

"Is that even possible?" Kadomatsu said.

"Like I said, no matter how easily carried away by feelings you may be, these irresponsible declarations are..." Kuri said.

"Have you forgotten? We have someone on our side who is more heartening than anyone else when it comes to altering a person's character, do we not?" Tamaki said.

"By any chance..." Hikaru said.

"...does he mean?" Kaoru said.

"Sure enough." Kuri said.

"Your golden hair, as it flickers in the candlelight...Your shining, ivory skin... Your smile, more mysterious than a flower, illuminated by moonlight... Yes, almost as if...as if you were a cursed wax statue, with your malevolence-" Nekozawa said.

"Wrong!" Mana said. "You numbskull! Who told you to say that line?! How many times do I have to tell you using occult terms is off-limits?!"

"B-But, my vocabulary is limited to these sorts of words." Nekozawa said.

"Talking back to me is off-limits, too!" Mana said. "A princely character doesn't come

up with such a sissy excuse so easily! Remember, it's good to have a dark side. Solitary characters work pretty well with young girls, too. But these days, the occult, horror, and the like are out of the question! Mori-senpai, add another no-good word!"

"Wax statue, right?" Mori said.

"Mana-Chan is really ripping it up, huh?" Hikaru said.

"She's on a roll." Kaoru said.

"I'm not sure if those lines will be practical for his sister, though." Hikaru said.

"Sir, are you just going to watch?" Kaoru said.

"Well, I don't want to end up cursed later." Tamaki said.

"Okay, you seem to have learned most of the character-altering lines. I think it's about time we moved on to it." Mana said.

"Hold on! It's still far too soon for me to attempt it!" Nekozawa said.

"Evil beam!" Twins said.

"Don't you let a mere flashlight upset you! Pluck up your nerve! It's not a physical problem for you, which means it's a problem of guts! Edgar was able to deal with a

cross with his nerve and guts, right?!" Mana said.

"I thought you rejected the occult." Twins said.

"Fiction is all right. Fashion is not." Mana said.

"Is that right?" Hikaru said.

"And you're the one..." Kaoru said.

"...who's always engaging in weird cosplay." Hikaru said.

"You're not putting your whole heart into saying these lines, either. Think of your practice

partner as Kirimi-chan a bit more." Mana said.

"T-That's easy for you to say, but Kirimi's face isn't as ashen as this." Nekozawa said.

"I don't want to hear it! Look with the eyes of your heart. The eyes of your heart!" Mana said.

"Yes! This is all for Kirimi-chan's sake!" Nekozawa said.

"If you can put your mind's eye to work, I'm sure that doll will look like the actual Kirimi-chan!" Mana said.

"Here, sir!" Hikaru said.

"We got this one ready, too." Kaoru said.

"Go ahead and try speaking words of love to this Kuri doll, please." Mana said.

"T-This is Sister?" Tamaki said.

"You should always show by example first." Mana said.

"Sister...I..." Tamaki said.

"Brother?" Kuri said.

"Ahem..." Tamaki said.

"Sister?! T-The real one? W-When did you get here?" Tamaki said.

"Kirimi-chan came to the club room again today. If you've got time to goof around,

doing repulsive stuff like this, then could you please hang out with Kirimi-chan for a little while?" Kuri said.

"R-repulsive?" Tamaki said.

"What's wrong, Kuri?" Hikaru said.

"Aren't you any good with children?" Kaoru said.

"No, I don't dislike children or anything," Kuri said. "but...She's had me read around 50 volumes of shojo manga to her these last three days. And of all things, this stuff is really

full of reverse harems, and debauchery."

"Big Brother? This room is too dark!" Kirimi said.

"Ah, Kirimi-chan! I told you to wait in the other room." Tamaki said.

Xxx

"Oh, what's wrong, what's wrong? There, there, you see? Nothing to be afraid of." Kuri said.

"I am a handsome, princely big brother...I'm not afraid of the light! Self evil beam!" Nekozawa said.

"He did it!" Hikaru siad.

"Nekozawa-senpai has finally become able to shine a flashlight on himself!" Kaoru said.

"Bravo, bravo. Nekozawa-senpai...You've done it! I'm sure that Kirimi-chan will be thrilled, too!" Kuri said.

"Look, Kirimi-chan. This is your real Big Brother." Tamaki said.

"Big Brother!" Kirimi ran to Tamaki.

"Kirimi!" Nekozawa said.

"Um, you're just complicating matters, so could you stop that?" Kuri said.

"That evil beam just now..." Hikaru said.

"...must have been pretty scary, huh?" Kaoru said.

"Kirimi..." Nekozawa said.

"Nekozawa-senpai..." Kuri said.

"Enough. Even if I go through any more special training, there's no guarantee

that Kirimi will accept me... Rather than Kirimi having me for an older brother, Suou-kun, you should be her substitute older brother, instead. You're the one that girl really wants to see, aren't you?" Nekozawa said.

"If you hold your sister dear, then show more guts, even if it kills you!" Tamaki said.

"Huh? Your sister is still in the courtyard." Hikaru said.

"There's something down there with her..." Kaoru said.

"Oh, it's a cat." Hikaru said.

"Your family sure does love cats." Kaoru said.

"You warm right up even to stray cats." Hikaru said.

"That's not true! Regardless of how the Nekozawa family may revere cats, there's no way that something as occult as her being chummy with a stray cat could happen, is there? Kirimi is afraid of animals! And live cats are what she's most afraid of! Kirimi! !" Nekozawa said.

"Nekozawa-senpai! Oh, no! He's not even wearing his hood!" Kuri said.

"Help!" Kirimi said.

"Kirimi! Kirimi! !" Nekozawa said.

"Big Brother!" Kirimi said.

"He did it!" Kuri said.

"This is the result of my special training. You see, Kirimi? No need to be afraid of that bad kitty anymore. With the power of this curse puppet, Belzenef... I'll curse... curse..." Nekozawa said.

Several Days Later

"Nekozawa-senpai...He probably took in a whole life's worth of sunlight that day. And he's reacted by reverting back to his condition before the training." Hikaru said.

"Well, well, that explains why he's wearing those gloomy black clothes again." Kaoru said.

"But still... Now, even if monsters do appear, I'll be all right. After all, Kirimi has a

princely Big Brother now, who will fight to protect her, even if it means dashing out

under the sun that he fears so much." Kuri said.


	18. Cavity

"Now you've done it." Tamaki said. "It's done, all right."

"It's not our fault." Twins said.

"Y-You idiots! You're the ones who bumped into it, right?"" Tamaki said.

"That's just because Kuri was running away." Hikaru said.

"We wanted to have some fun, by having her do a little cosplay." Kaoru said.

"We're always doing cosplay, you know!" Tamaki said.

"Not the usual Host Club kind." Hikaru said.

"This time in a bunny girl costume-disguised as a girl." Kaoru said.

"Disguised as a girl?" Tamaki said.

"You'd want to see that too, right, sir?" Hikaru said.

"Stop messing with my sister! And where do you get off trying to take advantage of this commotion?! Get away from Kuri!" Tamaki said.

"No way!" Hikaru said.

"Guys, there aren't any guests here, so I don't mind at all if you make a racket, but are you sure you want to? You'll wake Honey-senpai." Kyoya said.

"High school 3rd-Year, and he's still taking naps?" Kuri said. "Well, we can't help that his bunny has been stained. Let's wake him up and frankly apologize."

"Wait! Don't go near Honey-senpai! Hurry, come take shelter over here!" Tamaki said.

"What do you mean?" Kuri said.

"Honey-senpai wakes up in a megaton-class ill humor. This is just a rumor, but once, when the Haninozuka family visited a U.S. military installation, to give hand-to-hand combat technique training, Honey-senpai is said to have slept the whole time, due to jet lag. And when one soldier carelessly tried to wake up Honey-senpai, Two unfortunate platoons of green beret special forces were wiped out in seconds by Honey-senpai, and ever since, they say there have been diplomatic issues with America." Hikaru said.

"It's terrifying..." Tamaki said.

"What's worse, I've heard that Usa-chan was handmade by Honey-senpai's favorite late grandma. Judging by the way he always carries it with him, there can be little doubt

that it's a precious article to him. Once he wakes up, and sees his Usa-chan irrevocably altered... He's going to irrevocably alter us, too!" Kaoru said.

"You're exaggerating. Any way you think about them, those stories ring false. No, there is other evidence that Honey-senpai has an evil split personality." Kuri said.

"Honey-senpai is type AB." Twins said.

"So?" Kuri said.

"That means..." Hikaru said.

"...he has the same blood type as Kyoya!" Kaoru said.

"Do you have some sort of problem with my blood type?" Kyoya said.

"This is bad. We have to do something before he wakes up. Hikaru, Kaoru..." Tamaki said.

"Sir!" Twins said.

"Get your folks' Cessna. Fly to Osorezan, and bring back a medium. We'll have her channel Honey-senpai's grandma, and make us a new Usa-chan. Take this map of Aomori Prefecture with you. Don't forget the apple juice, apple jam, and Nebuta doll souvenirs!" Tamaki said.

"We don't have that much time." Hikaru said.

"We don't mind the derangement, but please come up with something more constructive." Kaoru said.

"All right, let's go with this: While we send Usa-chan out for cleaning, Kuri, you wear this fur suit." Hikaru said.

"Nice idea!" Tamaki said.

"No way! And for that matter, where did you get that thing?! It's too obvious!" Kuri said.

"It's okay. How can he tell such a slight difference with half-awake eyes?" Tamaki said.

"Then, brother, you wear it!" Kuri said.

"It won't be cute if I wear it! We've given up on the bunny girl thing, so now you can be a real rabbit, instead! Be a real rabbit, instead!" Tamaki said.

"Oh, no! It's too late! There's no other choice but to use another substitute!" Hikaru said.

"Aaah! My teddy bear!" Tamaki said.

"It'll be our turn, next!" Kaoru said.

"Aah! He's discovered his Usa-chan!" Hikaru said.

"Who's the one who got my Usa-chan dirty?" Honey said.

"S-S-Save us, Mori-senpai!" All said.

"Usa-chan said that he absolutely had to drink some tea." Mori said.

"He did? So that's why his face is all dirty, huh? Oh, do you think he wants some cake, too?" Honey said.

Xxx

"Honey-kun, what kind of chocolate do you like?" Girl said.

"Mousse? Bonbons? I'll bet it's chocolate cake that's your favorite, huh?" Girl said.

"Let's see... I like them all." Honey said. "I love chocolate, Usa-chan, and all of you!"

"Oh, how cute!" Girls said.

"Honey-senpai, or Haninozuka Mitsukuni, age 17. Ouran Academy 3rd-Year, Class A, registered in the Host Club. Favorite things include cake, chocolate, and bunnies. Possesses a loveliness befitting a 3rd-Year, and boasts an unassailable boy-Lolita quality." Mana said.

"Honey-senpai is in a good mood, huh?" Kuri said.

"Thank goodness. We settled the Usa-chan issue without any trouble." Tamaki said.

"Honey-senpai's charm points include the phrases "I love candy" and "I love cute things." Or so everyone says, but for my part, I'm not sold on the tepidity of his easygoing character! As it stands, there's just something missing!" Mana said.

"Honey-senpai, if you keep eating nothing but sweets like this, you're bound to develop cavities." Kuri said.

"It's okay. I make sure to brush my teeth." Honey said.

"Honey-senpai, don't tell me..." Kuri said.

"It's nothing, really." Honey said.

"Come on, open your mouth, please." Mori said.

"Hold on." Honey said.

"Honey-senpai, sit still." Kuri said.

"It's nothing! It's nothing! No!" Honey said.

"Yes! That's it, that's it! What was missing was this type of moe!" Mana said.

"Is it a cavity?" Kuri said.

"Yeah." Mori said.

"Oowie! Ouchie! Oowie! Ouchie! Oowie! Ouchie! No, I'm okay." Honey said.

"Tamaki..." Kyoya said.

"Yeah, all right, understood. Until Honey-senpai gets over his cavity, all sweets are off-limits to him. Further, in order to allow the entire club to offer its support, we ask you to temporarily refrain from consuming any snacks within the club." Tamaki said.

"N-No, Takashi... I don't want snacks to be off-limits. I'm not in pain... I'm not in pain, okay? Stop! That's my cake!" Honey said.

"It's off-limits." Mori said.

"And so, pitilessly, Honey-senpai's hellish days had begun." Mana said.

"My, Honey-kun looks so tormented." Girl said.

"The Host Club is to refrain from having snacks." Girl said.

"That must be quite a shock to him, huh?" Girl said.

"But, at the risk of being improvident, he looks just like..." Girl said.

"How lovely!" Girl said.

"Mitsukuni, your bag." Mori said.

"I can carry it myself." Honey said.

"Not that. Let me see it." Mori said.

"I was just looking at them. I wasn't eating them." Honey said.

"I see. If you're just looking, you can have this." Mori said. "I'll keep the real ones."

"Aww, that's rough." Hikaru said.

"Poor guy." Kaoru said.

"You know, I didn't think that Mori-senpai could be so firm." Kuri said.

"You wouldn't expect it, huh? I thought his principles kept him from doing anything to upset Honey-senpai." Hikaru said.

"To think that he could get his highness to go along with him, too..." Kaoru said.

"Tamaki-kun, it's too bad. I wanted you to have some of the chocolate that was specially made by our new patissier, which my family hired in from France, but I understand that

you're refraining from sweets." Girl said.

"Do not fret, my princess. For Honey-senpai's sake, we all want to help him in whatever

way we can to abstain from sweets." Tamaki said.

"My, sir, your friendship is so beautiful." Girl said.

"Besides, I'm sure it's better this way. However delicious the chocolate may be, in the face of my heated love, it would probably melt, and go to waste, as it vanished away." Tamaki said.

"Tamaki-kun..." Girl said.

"Impressive, sir. Nice little act." Hikaru said.

"You changed over quickly." Kaoru said.'

"Buzz off." Tamaki said.

"Our priority at all times is to keep our guests smiling, isn't it? You guys watch yourselves, too. Make sure not to give any kind of candy to Honey-senpai, no matter what tricks he resorts to." Kyoya said. "Oh, incidentally, those instructions come from Mori-senpai, not me."

"Kyoya-senpai seems to be unusually enjoying this, huh?" Kuri said.

"I can't hold it in any longer. I just have to have you accept my feelings for you, Mori-kun." Girl said. "Can't you do that? You don't, by any chance, have someone else that's dear to you, Mori-kun? There is, isn't there?"

"I... I..." Mori said.

Xxx

"Takashi! It looks like my cavity got better!" Honey said.

"Has it?" Mori said.

"The swelling has gone down, too!" Honey said.

"Has it?" Mori said.

"So, can I have just one piece of cake?" Honey said.

"Full recovery still seems a long way off." Mori said.

Xxx

"What are you drinking there?" Honey said.

"D-Darjeeling tea, Honey-kun." Girl said.

"What are you eating?" Honey said.

"A-A spot of a sandwich." Girl said.

"You know what? I think some sweet candy would go well with the tea. You know, like cake, or something. Right? Right?" Honey said.

"Yes...I suppose it would..." Girl said.

"Oh boy, oh boy! Oh boy, oh boy!" Honey said.

"It sure would..." Girl said.

"Oh boy, oh boy! Oh boy, oh boy!" Honey said.

"We're sorry, Honey-kun! It's for your own sake!" Girl said.

"W-Wait!" Honey said.

Xxx

"Honey-senpai..." Kuri said.

"Kuri-chan, am I bad? Have I done anything to make God hate me?" Honey said.

"Okay, look... just a little one, okay?" Kuri said.

"A snack?" Honey said.

"Yes. Here." Kuri said. "The color is kind of similar to chocolate."

Xxx

"He's on edge." Hikaru said.

"Somebody talk to him. He's scaring me." Tamaki said.

"Ah! He's headed for the candy shelves!" Kaoru said.

"Relax. They're all empty, anyway." Kyoya said.

"Kyoya-senpai, you seem to be in a good mood." Kuri said.

"Aah! Not my teddy bear again!" Tamaki said.

"Ah, he's breathed his last." Hikaru said.

"He's given up after three days." Kaoru said.

"H-Honey-senpai? He's gonna eat me!" Tamaki said.

"Mitsukuni, don't take it out on other people or things." Mori said.

"You saved me. I got away without being eaten." Tamaki said.

"It's disgraceful." Mori said.

"Takashi, you...idiot! ! Just a little bit won't hurt, right?! You cheapskate! You hardhead! Takashi... Takashi... I hate you!" Honey said.

"Ah, Honey-senpai!" Kuri said. "Mori-senpai...Hey, are you okay?"

"Mori-senpai, you've taken heavy damage there." Hikaru said.

"But whether you had no choice, or you're just self-destructing..." Kaoru said.

"...if you're going to be so depressed, then you shouldn't have acted in such a way to make him hate you in the first place." Hikaru said.

"It was on purpose?" Kuri said. "Mori-senpai, by any chance, were you trying to get Honey-senpai to hate you? That couldn't be right, could it? Having Honey-senpai hate him would be like the end of the world for Mori-senpai. Why would he do it on purpose?"

"Well, in order to punish himself. Am I wrong?" Hikaru said.

"Because it's all my fault. Mitsukuni's cavity was due to my carelessness. I forgot to make him brush his teeth before his nap, twice." Mori said.

"But Mori-senpai, that's not your..." Hikaru said.

"...responsibility, is it?" Kaoru said.

"If Mitsukuni has to get false teeth, I'll... I'll..." Mori said.

"No, that won't happen, that won't happen." Twins said.

"He's surprisingly negative, huh?" Kuri said.

"I wouldn't be able to live with myself if Mitsukuni hadn't thrown me down." Mori said.

"The rough treatment he got from Honey-senpai was the punishment that Mori-senpai gave to himself. Still, while it may sound like a nice story in the short run, it's a bit much over a single cavity, right?" Kuri said.

"So, there you have it, Honey-senpai. What will you do now?" Tamaki said.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Takashi! I won't ever forget to brush my teeth again! I won't forget!" Honey said.

XXX

"Several days later, after Honey-senpai had recovered from his cavity, rebounding from the candy prohibition order up until then, he greedily stuffed his face full of cake." Mana said.

"Kyoya-senpai looks oddly depressed about something, huh?" Kuri said.

"Honey-senpai's snack costs..." Hikaru said.

"...are just that expensive." Kaoru said.

"Ahem..." Girl said.

"Oh, could we have a new guest? Are you a fan of Mori-senpai?" Tamaki said.

"She's that girl from earlier..." Kuri said.

"I understand. Mori-kun, I now know who it is that is so dear to you. Mori-kun, having the

person most important to you being Honey-kun is so... it's so...somehow, it's just so terribly...nice!" Girl said.

"It would appear that you have just taken your first step into a new world." Mana said.

"Mitsukuni, you have some cream..." Takashi said.

"Moe! What moe! It's the greatest! It's the greatest!" Mana said.

"This seems to have the same mood as a happy ending, but are you really sure this outcome should be viewed as a happy ending? " Kuri said.

"Moe!" Mana said.

"Good grief." Kuri said.


	19. Wonderland

"Your daughter is incredibly brilliant. She leaves nothing to be desired as an honor student here at Ouran Academy. The problem is that she's too brilliant. She went through the advancement and entrance exams all on her own. And when that was done, she said that she would do all of the paperwork up to today's admission, all on her own, and that "Mom, you don't have to come with me." Is that right?" Atsuko said to Yuzuru.

"Uh, Kuri-san, I need to talk to your mother for a moment, so why don't you go look around the academy while we do that? Although, being spring break, there aren't many people here right now." Yuzuru said.

"Go do so. Mom will see to it that all the paperwork is in place." Atsuko said.

"Very well." Kuri said and wandered off.

"Indeed. If the child turns out too well, the parent might get lonesome, huh? I wonder if she'll enjoy herself here." Atsuko said.

Xxx

"No doubt about it. That's a rabbit. What's more, it's a stuffed animal." Kuri said, finding Usa-Chan dancing.

She then fell down a hole.

"Whew, I'm safe. Ow-w-w...It's no use, I can't get it off." Kuri said, and tried to pull the pot off. She turned to Shiro who was a mouse playing the piano. "Ahem... I can't seem to get this pot off of me. Could you lend me a hand?" He ate a banana and shrank and ran through a hole. "Hey, wait! He disappeared...or not! Where did that boy come from? Does this mean that the only exit...is that doorway?"

Kuri saw a banana. "Banana? Ba-na-na!"

In the corridor beyond, she slips on yet another peel and down another hole, falling into a pool of water. Unconscious at first, she awakens in time to avoid drowning and notices that the pool is set in an Ouran courtyard with a vacant throne at one end. At poolside sits the Caterpillar resembing Kyoya sitting on a mushroom, blowing bubbles and writing in a notebook.

"You cried so much, huh?" Kyoya said.

"Huh?" Kuri said.

"The water in this pool all comes from heartfelt tears that you have shed. You truly have gone through a lot of hardships and loneliness, huh? Be that as it may, you'd best hurry on out of there. You'll be eaten." Kyoya said.

The ruling council of the The Zuka Club surfaced in alligator-shaped submarines that chased her. Kuri dashed out.

"What were those just now? I-I don't understand this. I have to hurry and get back to my original size..." Kuri said. "Huh? Am I already back to it?"

"One side makes you bigger. One side makes you smaller." Kyoya said.

"What are you talking about?" Kuri said.

"It won't be cheap. Look. We have a guest arriving." Kyoya said.

"Um, may I have a bit of the mushroom?" Nekozawa said.

"Yeah, and settle up with me at the end of the month." Kyoya said.

"You are at least thorough financially, huh?" Kuri said. "What is it that you're always writing in your file?"

"What, you ask? Everything. "Always"? This is the first time we've ever met. Why would you say that?" Kyoya said.

"Why?" Kuri said. "Huh? Why, indeed?"

"Smaller..." Nekozawa said turning into a baby.

"Growing bigger..." Kirimi said turning into a teen.

"No, that's not what's meant by growing bigger... Oh, no! The baby is going off somewhere by himself!" Kuri said.

"It doesn't have anything to do with me." Kyoya said.

Kuri chased the baby and finds herself in a room with the Duchess who resembled Mana, her cat who resembles Hikaru, and her cook who resembles Princess Ayanokoji.

"I am the Duchess. That woman making banana soup over there is my cook. That, lying over there, is my cat." Mana said.

"I had no idea that cats could smirk like that." Kuri said.

"Why do I have to be the cook?!" Ayanokoji said. "I've had it! I'm always the villain, and you're always enjoying yourselves! Tamaki-sama, you idiot!"

"Are you that baby's mother, then?" Kuri said.

"Are you concerned about this boy?" Mana said.

"I'm glad your mother has been found. Really glad... Being with your mother really is the best thing there is." Kuri said.

"Well, I have to be going now. Will you look after the boy?" Mana said.

"Where are you going?" Kuri said.

"I've been summoned to appear before the court." Mana said.

"Court?" Kuri said.

"Did you really think that doll was the Duchess's child?" Hikaru said.

"What's the meaning of-" Kuri said. "Mr. Cat... Um..."

"Over here. Surprised?" Kaoru said.

"Uh... yeah." Kuri said.

"I am able to disappear..." Hikaru said.

"...and reappear like this." Kaoru said.

"That's amazing. So, there's something I'd like to ask. Which way should I go?" Kuri said.

"That depends..." Hikaru said.

"...on where you want to go." Kaoru said.

"I want to go home. Back to where I was before." Kuri said.

"Going home without having an audience with the Queen..." Hikaru said.

"...is not allowed in this place." Kaoru said.

"Who is the Queen?" Kuri said.

"The Queen..." Hikaru said.

"...is the one who..." Kaoru said.

"...you might say..." Hikaru said.

"...rules this world." Kaoru said.

"I can't talk when you won't stand still, so both of you, come on out together." Kuri said.

"Both of us?" Hikaru said.

"What do you mean?" Kaoru said.

"Okay, fine." Twins said.

In another courtyard sits the Dodo who resembles Kanako Kasugazaki, having tea and hoping that her fiance, Toru Suzushima, comes back soon

"I hope he comes back soon." Kanako said.

Kuri entered Ouran's dining hall where a Mad Hatter resembling Tamaki, a Dormouse resembling Mori and a March Hare resembling Honey dressed in an Usa-chan costume sat at table.

"Ahem..." Kuri said.

"There aren't any seats." Tamaki said.

"Yes, there aren't any seats." Honey said.

"We're just joking!" Honey said. "There are lots of seats, see?"

"There's something I wanted to ask." Kuri said.

"Your hair is long, huh?" Tamaki said.

"Huh?" Kuri said.

"I like your hair like that, but unfortunately, you're really going to have to cut it shorter." Tamaki said.

"Would you mind leaving my hairstyle out of this?" Kuri said.

"You're wearing a skirt today, huh?" Tamaki said.

"Despite any appearances, I am a girl. Not that it matters either way." Kuri said. "If you eat nothing but sweets like that, you're bound to get cavities."

Honey's eyes nearly pop out of his head and Mori's nose-bubble bursts, awakening him long enough for him to remind Honey to brush his teeth when he's finished.

"Be sure to brush your teeth." Mori said.

"Mm-hmm." Honey said.

"So nose bubbles do pop..." Kuri said.

"It is always 3:00 p.m. here. That means it's always snack time." Tamaki said.

"Um, where exactly is this place?" Kuri said. "I came here with my dad to do the paperwork to

enroll in Ouran Academy."

"A riddle. What is the bond between you and I?" Tamaki said.

"Is there one?" Kuri said. "This is Ouran Academy, right?"

"What will you do, once you enroll? Once you're enrolled at Ouran, what will you do?" Tamaki said.

"What will I do? I'm going to study." Kuri said.

"What else?" Hikaru said.

"What else?" Kaoru said.

"Are you just going to study?" Honey said.

"Well, yeah." Kuri said.

"Why?" Hikaru said.

"Why?" Kaoru said.

"Why? There's a dream that I want to have come true. I entered Ouran because I want to study to that end." Kuri said.

"That's admirable. What's the dream you want to have come true?" Tamaki said.

"When I grow up, I-" Kuri said.

"Still, there's more to the life of a student than just studying, isn't there?" Tamaki said.

"What else is there?" Kuri said.

"There are other things, right?" Tamaki said.

"Fun things." Hikaru said.

"Fun things?" Kaoru said.

"What's that?" Kuri said.

"Court has begun." Honey said.

"Court?" Kuri said.

"The Duchess is going to be executed." Honey said.

"What for?" Kuri said.

"It's the whim of the Queen, I suppose." Honey said.

"That is absolutely not right!" Kuri said.

"Sure enough, even in dreams, Kuri-chan is Kuri-chan, huh?" Honey said.

"Nice." Tamaki said.

"The accused, the Duchess, came to us by availing herself of an invitation, as we were holding a music festival. Do you admit your crime?" Queen said.

"Is that a crime?!" Kuri said.

"Who are you?" Queen said.

"I am... I am the lawyer for the accused!" Kuri said.

"It is my job to appear at social functions, Your Majesty." Mana said.

"Even while leaving your precious child unattended? Your crime is to leave your child alone, even if it was for work, and to make him feel lonesome." Queen said.

"No, Queen, that is incorrect. When a parent is really busy, a child understands these things. They don't, by any means, blame others. Besides, if you execute her, then what is going to become of the child?" Kuri said.

"This is a court of law, not a place for emotional outbursts!" Queen said.

"If judgment is made without emotions, then you can leave it to a machine! There would be no need for judges, or lawyers!" Kuri said.

"That's pretty insolent. And are you even qualified to be a lawyer in the first place? More importantly, are you not guilty, yourself? Very well, I will expose the crime of this so-called lawyer, first." King said.

"My crime?" Kuri said.

"This is the Renaissance vase that you broke." King said.

"That's the one from earlier... But it wasn't broken. At the time, it was definitely unbroken." Kuri said.

"Maybe not that time, but you are indeed the one who broke it." King said.

"I'm telling you, I'm not the one who broke-" Kuri said. "Huh?"

"Witnesses! If you know anything about the crime of this self-professed lawyer, then testify!" King said.

"I will testify, King." Tamaki said.

"You're that man from earlier..." Kuri said.

"This girl has a mistaken understanding of student life." Tamaki said.

"Huh?" Kuri said.

"Study, study, and more study. She does not even try a little bit to enjoy her daily life." Tamaki said.

"You enjoy yourself too much, Tamaki-nii!" Kuri shouted.

"What is this? How is it that you know my name?" Tamaki said. "And why do you call me brother?"

"You knew that we were twins, too." Twins said.

"You knew about my secret file, too, huh?" Kyoya said.

"And about my cavity, too." Honey said.

"How? Well, I..." Kuri said.

"Don't you understand yet? I'm glad you've made so many... ...fine friends." Yuzuru, the King, said.

"Dad...Then that means...Then that means you're...It couldn't be..." Kuri said.

"You've gotten bigger, huh? I'm sorry to put you through so much trouble. Enjoy your dream-like student life now, to make up for it." Atsuko said. She looked well-dressed, clean, and healthy, something Kuri had not seen in a long time.

"Mom..." Kuri said. "You're awake..."

"Kuri..." Atsuko said.

Xxx

"This is unusual, huh? You dozing off... It's almost time for our guests to arrive." Tamaki said. "Hurry and get ready."

"A dream-like student life, huh? I have to admit, around here, there's not much difference whether I'm awake or asleep." Kuri said.


End file.
